Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 105

Ladki: Tum Honeymoon k liye kahan kahan Gayi thi? Saheli: Shimla, Kasauli, Mussoorie, Nanitaal. Ladki: Achhaa… kya kya dekha Wahan pe? Saheli: Sirf CEILING FAN!



Karke dosti hum kisiko nahi bhulate Zindagi bhar hum dosti hai nibhate na ho tumhe dosti mey batware ka ehsaas isliye hum naye dost nahi banate!!



Tumhari palko pe khwab rakh gaya koi, tumhare sanson pe naam likh gaya koi, vada raha bhul jana hame, agar hamse accha dost mil gaya koi.



Aapko.. Hum sirf aapko aur aapko arey aapko haan haan aapko, baba aapko aapko only aapko aur kisi ko nahi bas aapko hamesha Tang Karenge..!!



Gandhigiri ka funda #840 ‘Koi tumhe bewakoof kahe to chup raho Moonh kholkar usey sahi saabit mat karo!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1oJ4rNV

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 104

Santa and Banta looking at an Egyptian mummy Santa: Luk so many bandages pakka truck accident case! Banta: Areh, truck number is also written, BC-1700



Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha, asmaan me taaron ka nazara tha, Tabhi ek premi ne pyar se muskarate hue uski premika se kaha: Aye Susmita, Bidi Piyegi?



Dosti dil hai, dimaag nahi Dosti soch hai, aawaz nahi Koi aankhon se nahi dekh sakta dosti ke jazbe ko Kyunki dosti ehsaas hai andaaz nahi!



Johny Walker: Mere pass bangla hai, gaadi hai, bank locker hai, Kya hai tumhare pass? Johny Lever: Mere pass in sabki chabi hai!!



Jeeto: Oh zara dheere karo Kyon Shatabdi chala rahe ho Maalgadi chalaao Itne mein Pappu bed se gira aur bola.. Pappu: Jo marzi chalaao par savaari ko to mat giraao!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1pwoUWc

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 103

Q: Sidhu ki maa ko gussa kab aata hai? A: Jab sidhu laughter challenge mein has haskar har contestant se kehta hai – bas kar mere BAAP!



Guys Philosophy: Shaadi aise ghar me ho, Jahan sasur maldaar ho, Aur saas bimaar ho, Patni kaisi bhi chalegi, Par Saaliyan do-chaar ho!!



50 meel duur jab koi bachha oon-oon karke rota hai to maa kehti hain ki beta aise mat ro, varna . . . bada hokar tu HIMESH RESHAMMIYA ban jayega!!



Aajkal ladkiyon ke kapde yahan se less wahan se less, kabhi sleeveless toh kabhi backless or koi ladka ghoor ke dekhe toh ‘Oh How Mannerless’



Punjabi woman to an english doctor in LONDON telling him about her ill child… My baby is ill ik week da na eat da,na sleep da, bass weepda te cheekhda



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1rwtKog

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 102

Im sorry yaar, aaj tak maine tujhe avoid kiya, kayi baar tujhse baat nahi ki, tujhse hath nahi milaya, Sorry yaar mujhe pata nahi tha ki ‘AIDS’ choone se nahi failta!!



Agar apne DIMAG ko test karna ho to usko COW ke samne le jao. Agar wo dur gayi to samajhlena ki dimag me GOBAR hai, agar paas aayi to samajh lena ke BHUSA hai.



Jo Pal pal chalti rahe wo hain zindagi, Jo har pal jalti rahe wo hain roshni, Jo pal pal khilti rahe wo hain mohabbat, aur jo kisi pal saath naa chode wo hain Dosti!



1st Frnd: Roz subah 15 ladkiyan mera intezaar karti hain.. 2nd Frnd: Woh kaise? 1st Frnd: Main Girls College ke Van ka driver hun!!



Bhikari: Sahab, 1 rupaiyya de do Sahab: Tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar bheekh maangte huye? Bhikari: Abey tere 1 rupaiyye ke liye kya main ab ek office khol lun?



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1kdtfM4

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 101

Aisi dosti hamari ki tu har raah, har dagar, har safar mein mile. Mar bhi jaun agar,tab bhi dosti ki khatir, tu bagal wali kabar mein mile!!



Love marriage or Arranged marriage me kya difference hain? Hum khud jakar kuey me gire to vo love marriage, Dus log milkar dhakka de-de to vo arranged marriage.



Dosti si aaj pyaar sharmaya hai, Teri chahat ne kuch aisa gajab dhaya hai, Khuda se kya mange, Woh to khud aaj aap jaisa dost maangne aaya hai.



Zindagi shuru hoti hai rishto se, rishte shuru hote hain Pyar se, pyar shuru hota hai apno se, aur apne.. APNE shuru hoti hai DHARMENDER,SUNNY aur BOBBY se..!



Chai Wala: Bholi Si Surat Ankhon Mein Masti Dur Khadi Sharmaye Aaye Haye!! Girl’s Reply: Kaali Si Surat Haath Mein Ketli Dur Khada Chilaye Chai Chai.



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1pI6XBk

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 100

Q: Harbhajan ask’s Kumble to bring a pepsi… Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Shehwag.? why ?? A: Shehwag is an opener!



Autowala: Saab! 30 rupiye huye Santa: ye le 15 rupiye Autowala: Saab yeh to beyimaani hai Santa: abey! beyimaani kaisi? tu bhi to baith ke aaya hai, aadhe tu de..!



Har samundar mein saahil nahin hota Har jahaaz mein missile nahin hota Agar Dhirubhai ka sapna nahin hota To har aadmi ke paas mobile nahin hota!



Khuda kare humaari dosti aisi ho Ki Chot tumhe lage aur dard mujhe ho Dil tumhaara dhadke aur dhadkan meri ho Naukri tum karo aur salary meri ho!!



Q: Patni maike jaakar pati ko roz phone kyu karti hai? A: Taaki Pati ko yaad rahe musibat tali nahi, fir aanewali hai!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1gRtAU1

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 99

Reporter: Laaluji, the poor women in bihar dont have clothes to wear. Laalu: U FOOL,tum FTV dekhe ho? Rich women bhi clothes nahin pehanti hai. Yeh fashionwa hai!



Pappu – Baapu idhar aa… Pappu ki Maa – Aise nahi bolte beta, daddy ko izzat se bulate hain. Pappu – Baapu, izzat ke saath idhar aa..!!



Iss jahan main aae ho to, kuch aaisa kar jaao kadardaan, Jiss gali se guzro, aawaaz aae –”ABBAJAAN – ABBAJAAN”



Wife jab tum desi peete ho to mujhe PARO kehte ho, Jab WHISKY peete ho to Darling kehte ho, Aaj kya peekar aaye ho? Husband : Aaj main hosh mein hun!



BHAKT – Bhagwan mujhe wardan do ki main marne ke baad phir zinda ho sakun. BHAGWAN- Ye mere bas ki baat nahi hai putr, ye toh sirf Ekta Kapoor hee kar sakti hai.



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1mXG7og

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 98

Ladka bola Dilruba, Ladki boli Pizza khila, Wo bola Paise nahi, Ye boli – Aise kaise nahi, Ladka bola – Mehengayi hai, Ladki boli JAA AAJ SE TU MERA BHAI HAI.



Zubaan khamosh hote hain jab tum samne aati ho, Dil zor-zor se dhadakta hai jab nigahein milaati ho, Saans ruk jaati hai jab muskurate ho, Bhoot ho kya jo daraane chali aati ho.



Hum unhe SMS karte hain, Unhe lagta hain hamey aadat hain paise udaane ki, Lekin woh naadan kya jaane, Yeh bhi ek adaa hain dosti nibhane ki…!



Hum aapki yaad mein udaas hain Bas aapse milne ki aas hai Chahe dost kitne hi kyun naa ho Hamare liye toh aap hi khaas hai!



Dil ki mehfil mey ujala kijiye, pyar bhara geet gaya kijiye, zindagi khubsurat banjayegi, bas apno ke liye waqt nikala kijiye! Good Morning!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1kuXyrR

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 97

Mil jaati hain kitno ko khushi, Mit jaate hain kitno ke ghum Messages isiliye bhejte hain hum, Taaki naa milne se bhi apni Dosti naa ho Kam!!



Dil ke operation ko BYPASS kyon kehte hain? Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya toh.. PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE!



Khushbu maangi thi Khuda se, Woh hume phool thama gaye. Bas thodi si khushi maangi thi dua mein, Toh aap jaisa dost dekar hame khushnaseeb bana gaye..!



Sanju baba ko fir se mili MBBS Ki digree… Bole to… M-mumbai B-bomb B-blast ki S-saza.



Twinkle twinkle Little star, Life is Friendship aur thoda sa Pyaar. Enjoy, Life ke din hain chaar, I miss u hamesha, keep smiling mere cute se yaar!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1hKGDSg

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 96

Hello Bhaiya, how r u? How’s life? Rakhi bhej di hai, mil jayegi. Mera cell kharab hai isliye me inke cell se sms kar rahi hoon. Tumhari pyari behan – Mallika Sherawat



Q: Why do girls close their eyes while kissing a guy? Guess Guess . . . . A: Yeh ladkiyan ladkon ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti.



Husband aur wife hotel mey gaye tabhi ek lady ne Hello kiya. Wife: Koun thi wo? Husband: Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hun ki woh bhi yehi puchegi.



Ek Pati ki Daastaan Sagaai hui Shadi Hui Biwi ghar mein aayi Ghar SWARG ban gaya Aur main… SWARGWASI!!



In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item at 2.75 n sell at 15.25, Is it loss or profit? Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise.



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1hKxFEo

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 95

Wen things go wrong, Wen sadness fills ur Heart, Wen tears flow in ur eyes, Always say these words… . . . Aey Ganpat chal Daaru la!



Woh choom le ek baar, toh aati nahi neend, unki meethi awaaz mein hee, raat jaati hai beet, isliye kehta hoon yaaro, kachhua jalaao machchar bhagaao!!



Khushi ko banalo zindagi ka usool, Hogi kabhi kabhi zindagi mey bhool, Par kabhi khushi ko na khona aur Zindagi jeene ka andaz rakho Cool..!!



Kabhi khushi kabhi gham Mere sms na honge kam Kabhi alvida na kehna aur sms karte rehna Dhoom Mera sms padhkar Jhoom Hera pheri Ab sms karne ki bari teri



Dost aksar yu hi ban jaate hai, kuch saath rehte hai kuch bichad jaate hai, kuch yaad rakhte hai kuch bhool jate hai, ab hame aapko dekhna hai ki aap kaha tak saath nibate hai?



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1rv5Ucw

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 94

Ha ha ha ha hha ha he he hhe he he hee he he hha ha ho ho ho ho he he he……… KUCH NAHIN BAS TUMHARI SHAKAL YAAD AA GAYI…. ha ha ha



Life is like MATHS: Friend ko plus + karo, Dushman ko Minus – karo, Khushiyon ko Multiply X karo, Gam ko Divide / karo, aur life ENJOY karo!



A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don’t know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.



Kabhi dost kehte ho, Kabhi dua dete ho, Kabhi bewaqt neend se jagaa dete ho. Par jab bhi sms karte ho, khuda ki kasam khushi ka ek lamha aur badha dete ho!!



What did Shivaji say to Bruce Lee when he met him? ‘tu karate main marathe.’



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1oHuTHz

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 93

Hum doston ko bhulte nahi hain, Magar yeh baat jatate nahi hain, Doston ko hamesha rakhte hain yaad, Hum bhulne ke liye dost banate nahi hain.



Yeh dosti meri nahi hamaari hai, Isliye toh saab rishton si pyaari hai. Zaroori nahi doston ka roz milna, Tabhi toh sms,phone calls,mails ka silsila jaari hai!



A lady to another lady – Jab tera divorce hua tha tab to tere ek hi bachha tha aur ab tin kaise? Other lady replied – Wo kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate hain.



Na moh na maya hai Aalas tumhi ko aaya hai Baith ke chaar panne palat lo beta Final paper girlfriend ne nahi banaya hai!!



Aao Jhuk Kar Unhe Salam Kare, Jin Ke Hisse Mey Ye Mukaam Aata Hai, Kis Kadar Khushnasib Hai Woh Log, JinKa Khoon Watan Ke Kaam Aata Hai..!! Azaadi Mubarak!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1odG2MA

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 92

Fariyaad karne par rab ne sab kuch diya, par humne na isko mehsoos kiya. Shukar guzaar hai hum rab ke, jo bin maange tumhare jaisa dost diya.



Kuch rishte anjane mey ban jaate hai, pehle dil phir zindagi se jud jaate hai. Kehte hai uss lamhe ko dosti, jisme dil se dil na jaane kab mil jaate hai!!



Munnabhai’s Fundas Closeup se daant saaf karne ka, Pepsodent se mazbut karne ka, Babul se fresh karne ka, Agar Phir bhi white nahi hua toh bindaas ‘HARPIC USE KARNE KA’



samandar ko tha guroor gehraayi par apni aasmaan ko tha garv Unchaayi par apni sharm se zaar zaar ho gaye dono.. jab unhe bataayi humne dosti apni!



Na waqt hai itna ki syllabus pura kiya jaye Na tarkib koi ki exam paas kiya jaye. Na jane kaun sa dard diya hai iss padhai ne ki na roya jaye aur na soya jaye!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/T1J9gY

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 91

what did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing? Aaila! kisine mera pocket maar liya!



Subah ko haste ho, Sham ko haste ho, Raat ko haste ho, Aate time haste ho, Jate time haste ho, Kay samajte ho, Aap akele hi brush karte ho.



SMS karne main kitna maza aata hai, lekin dil ghabrata hai, kyunke balance jata hai, lekin asal maza tab aata hai, jab kanjoos logon se SMS ka jawab aata hai



Phulo se khubsurat, Koi nehi! Sagar se gehera, Koi nehi! Aab aap ki kya tarif karu? Dosto mein aap jaisa, NALAYAK koi nehi!



Unn phoolonse kya dosti karoge, jo ek baar khile aur murjha jaaye. Dosti to hum jaise kaanton se karo, Jo ek baar chubhe aur baar baar yaad aaye!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1kWUB7V

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 90

Subah ko haste ho, Sham ko haste ho, Raat ko haste ho, Aate time haste ho, Jaate time haste ho, Kya samajte ho, Aap akele hee brush karte ho???



Shaadi ke pehle ladka ladki se: Darling!! Tum nahi to main nahi, Aur main nahi to tum nahi. Shaadi ke baad ladka: Aaj ya toh tum nahi ya main nahi!!



Kahi andhera toh kahin shaam hogi, Meri har khushi aapke naam hogi, Kuch maang ke toh dekho humse – Bijli, Paani ke bill aur karz mein doobi saari Property apke naam hogi.



Lohe ko Loha kat ta hai … Sone Ko Sona Kat ta hai… Jaher ko Jaher kat ta hai… Isliye apko Kutta katega!



Yeh zindagi hai ek janjaal yahan chalta hai paise ka kamaal na tumhare paas hai maal, na hamare paas hai maal toh fir aao khelte hai missed call missed call



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1gPYdsY

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 89

Q:Wat will Gita be called if she starts wearing cool,fashionable & funky clothes? A: Yogita – Yo! Gita.



Man: Oye tera ek daant Neela kaise ho gaya? Santa: Maine Ink lagaayi hain. Man: Woh Kyun? Santa: Oey yaar yeh ‘Blue Tooth’ ka zamaana hain!



Kaash tum bakre hote, Hum tumhe ghaas khilate aur pyar se tumhare seeng hilate aur puchte.. Paagal kaun? Tum ya Main? Aur tum pyar se bolte – Main Main Main!!



Every Indian women is RANI LAXMI BAI in her life. RANI – Before marriage. LAXMI – After marriage. BAI – After children.



What do u call a person who shakes immediately upon hearing his name ? . . . . A: Abhishek !



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1oGzvxL

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 88

Mujhse kya galti ho gayi? Y ru avoiding me? Atleast week me ek baar to yaad kar liya karo! Ur behaviour is really hurting me! Wit Love Urs BATH SOAP!



Q: Wat is d difference between watch & wife? A: Ek kharaab hoti hai to bandh ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai.



Ab tak meri life ek khuli bottle thi, Jisme se sab perfume ki tarha udd jata tha. Par aap ke aane se sab kuch ruk gaya. Bhagwan kare aap jaisa DHAKKAN sabko mile!!



Wife: Main tumhari yaad mey 15 din mey hee aadhi ho gayi hun. Mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho? Husband: 15 din baad!



Night was dark, moon was high. Boy stopped his bike, gal asked y? he came close 2 her, she felt shy. He went near her & told her 2 words PETROL KHATAM!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/T1cecu

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 87

M_rkh, St_pid, B_dh_, D_ffer, Bewak_f, Ghoch _, _ll_, Bhondu_ dekha.. Everything is incomplete without ‘U’!!



1)Smoking 2)Drinking 3)Charas 4)Ganja 5)Chicken 6)Mutton 7)Oily food 8)Masala 9)Sleep 10)Pollution => Heart Attack Matlab Dus bahane karke le gaye DIL!!



Difference between Wife and Saali? Saali Pension, Wife Tension Saali Yummy, Wife Vehmi Saali Cool, Wife Fool Saali – a Fresh Cake And a Wife – An Earth Quake!!



Wo aaye aur hum dekhte rahe, wo muskuraye par hum dekhte rahe, wo bolte rahe aur hum sunte rahe par jab wo jane lage to hum chillaye Mam attendance to lete jayiye!!



2001 – Earth Quake 2002 – WTC Attacks 2003 – Rains 2004 – Wars 2005 – Tsunami 2006 – Floods 2007 – ..??? AAP KA SUROOR..!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1jH1SnH

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 86

Maths teacher to Santa- If u had Rs.1000 in 1 pocket & Rs.1000 in d other, wat wud u think? Santa: Yeh Pant kiski hain???



jis tarah heere ko heera kaatha hai… sone ko sona kaatha hai… lohe ko loha kaatha hai… theek usi tarah dekh lena ek din tumhe kutta katega….



After Finishing MBBS Dr. Munna bhai starts his practice. He checked 1st patient’s eyes, tongue & ears by torch & finally says BOLE TO……. TORCH THEEEEK HAI



Chori Chori Yeh Aana Jaana Chod Do Chupke Chupke Yun Nazar Milaana Chod Do Kisi Din Bahut Pitoge Unse Tum Yeh Mandiro se Jute Churana Chod Do!!



Ek pyari si surat, Ek masoom sa chehra, Ek nazuk ada, Kuchh masti kuchh maza, Thodi si shrarat, Bahut saari mohabbat, Sabse alag sabse juda, Jiski hai pyari har ek ada..! Thanx,Aapne MERE bare me itna pada..!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1oUlVEK

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 85

Beta: Papa 5+5 kitne hote hain? Santa: Ullu ke patthe, gadhe, naalaayak, tujhe kuch nahi aata.. Jaa andar se Calculator le aa!!



Teacher – Agar sacche dil se bhagwan se prathna ki jaye to woh poori hoti hai! Student – Rehne do sir, agar aisa hota to aap zinda nahi hote..!!



Zindagi Taj Mahal ho jaye, Chandani khil ke kamal ho jaye, Tum jo ban jaao dost mere, Dil ki dhadkan bhi ek Ghazal ho jaye!



Wife: Kya kar rahe ho? Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu. Wife: Kitni mari? Man: 3 male aur 2 female. Wife: Kaise pata? Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se..!!



A good friend is one who tells u to study well but a best friend is one who sits outside ur exam hall and says ‘Abey kitna likhega, chal bahar aa na…’



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1twC9UA

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 84

If 10 ppl in d world pray 4u, Im 1 of them. If 5 ppl pray 4u, Im 1 of them. If 1 person prays 4u, tats me. If no 1 prays 4u, it means… … MUJHE AUR BHI KAAM HAIN!!



Suna hai khuda ke darbar se Kucch farishte faraar ho gaye Kucch to vapas chale gaye Aur kucch hamare yaar ho gaye!!



Main jab bhi tujhe dekhta hun Dil me ek khayal aata hai. Kyon na tujhe hi rakh lun kaam par Mera naukar hafte me teen baar aata hai.



Hamare toh daaman mey kaanto k siva kuch nahin. Aap to phoolon ke kharid-daar nazar aate hain. Jahan mey kitne dost mile hume Par sabse ache aap nazar aate hain..



WIFE: Kal raat tum neend me mujhe buraa keh rahe the! HUSBAND: Tumhe galat fehmi hui hai. WIFE: Kaisi galat fehmi? HUSBAND: Yehi ke main soya hua tha!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1rsFtEp

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 83

Many Many Happy Returns of d day 2U Dekha.. Tumne kya socha tha? Tum nahin bataoge to mujhe pata nahi chalega ki aaj ‘ANIMALS DAY’ hain!



Q. Bhaarat mey sabse bada Pralay (Confusion) ka din kaun sa hoga? A. Jis din Rakhi aur Friendship day ek saath aayega.



Ek pyari si surat, Ek masoom sa chehra 2 jheel si ankhein Kuch mithi mithi baate Ek nazuk ada Kuch masti kuch maza Ek bholi si muskan Ooncha udne ka armaan Sabse alag,sabse juda Jiski hai pyari har ek ada Thnx ,apne MERE bare mey itna pada!



Ek din kisi kavi sammelan mey ek kavi bola- Meri maa ne kutta liya.. meri maa ne kutta liya.. Tabhi ek kavi bola – …aur bhonkne ke liye yaha bhej diya..!!



Boy – Teri judaai mey neend udti hai, Chain khota hai, Jaan jati hai, Dil rota hai..! Girl – Doctor ko dikha lo bhaiyya, ‘DENGU’ bhi aise hee hota hai.



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1mBTclE

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 82

Tum sweet ho? Tum cute ho? Tum decent ho? Tum smart ho? Tum innocent ho? Tum loveable ho? Yeh Jhooti Afvaayen Kaun Faila Raha hain.. Pata Karo!



Ladki ki T-shirt par bani billi ko dekh, ladka gurrane laga Girl: Kyo Kabhi BILLI nahi dekhi kya? Boy: Billi to dekhi, Par dudh ki rakhwali karnewali pahlibar dekhi



Jab kisi ki taraf DiL jhukne lage.. Baat aakar zubaan tak rukne lage Toh TOh Toh TOh VICKS ki goli lo, Khikhich dur karo..!!



Patient: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek hogaya. Doctor: Jaanta hun, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di!



Hamare to daaman mey kaanto ke siva kuch nahin. Aap to phoolon ke kharid-daar nazar aate hain. Jahan mein kitne dost mile hume par sabse acche aap nazar aate hain…!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1rsiSYx

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 81

Jeevan k kathin raasto par kaun apka saath nibhati hain? Apki wife? Nahi Apki girl frend? arey nahi yaar apke CHAPPAL So take care of ur chappals!!



RANG DE BASANTI Bacche sharab pi rahe hai, buildingon se kood rahe hai, baap ko goli maar rahe hai, hero 5 saal se univ mey fail ho raha hai, aur director kehta hain GENERATION AWAKENING!



Mere haath mey tera haath ho, tere haath mey baajuwali ka haath ho… Aur uske haath mein mera haath ho.. Phir teeno milke Ring-a-Ring-a-Roses khelenge.



Tere payal ki chanak, tere kangan ki khanak. Teri sanson ki sarsarahat, tere kadmo ki aahat. Teri dhadkan ka shor… Abey ladki hai ya noise pollution!!



Kashmir ki vadiyon mey, barfili hawaon mey, jheel ke kinare baithe Ranjhe ko Heer ne kaha, Moya sweater pehen le, thand lag jayegi Badaa Salman bane fir raha hain!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1lZQF2V

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 80

Santa – Bachpan me maa ki baat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta. JUDGE – Kya kehti thi maa? Santa – Jab baat hi nahi suni toh kaise bataun kya kehti thi.



Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain. Friend: Wow, Kab kar rahe ho? Santa: Meri 7th Dec ko hain aur uski 23rd Jan ko!!



Tum mann hi mann unhe chahte reh gaye, unhe patane ke plan banate reh gaye. Pata laga ke koi aur le gaya unhe, tum to bas unki shaadi me tent aur kursiyan lagate reh gaye



Exam Song: Chanda Mama so Gaye, Students saare jaage Dekho pakdo yaaron, Ghadi ke kaante bhaage. Ek pariksha khatam toh dooji shuru ho gayi MAAMU.



Jo Tumko Ho Pasand Vahi baat kahenge Tum din ko agar raat kaho toh raat kahenge, kyunki… kyunki… Paaglon se behas nahi ki ja sakti!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1oFhiRc

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 79

Sochne waali baat hain: Hum jeete ek baar hai, marte ek baar hai, pyar ek baar hota hai aur shaadi bhi ek hi baar hoti hai.. Toh fir ye.. EXAMS BAAR-BAAR KYUN?



Santa wid his galfrnd in a restaurant. Santa:Main last baar puch raha hun,tum mujhse shadi karogi ya nahi? Gf:Main nahi kar sakti. Santa: Thik hai, Waiter bill alag alag lekar aana!



Circuit- Ye Doctor log operation karne se pehle patient ko behose kyo karte hai? Munna Bhai: Bole to patient khud operation karna sikh na le isliye.



Man shadi se pehle superman, shadi ke baad gentleman, 10 saal baad watchman, 20 saal baad apne hee jaal me fasa Spiderman.



Kisi ki Yaad aaye-yaad karo Zyada aaye-SMS karo Aur Zyada aaye-PHONE kro Aur bhi Zyada aaye-toh MILO Usse bhi Zyada aaye-Pyar karo Usse bhi Zyada aaye-Shaadi karo. PHIR KABHI YAAD NAHI AYEGI.



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1tYOrY0

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 78

Agar 2 peepal ke ped ko ek rassi se baandh liya jaye,to uss rassi ko kya kahenge?? Socho Socho Uss rassi ko bolenge NOKIA – Connecting Peepal!



Pyaar Karoge pareshan rahoge, Shadi karoge sharabi banoge, Love karoge devdas banoge, Humse dosti karoge aur BINDASS rahoge!



Johnny Johnny Urdu Style: Jaani Jaani – Ji Abba Shakkar khara – nai bawa Jhoot bolra re – nai bawa Muh khol ke bataa – ha haa haaa



Kya tum ped par chad sakte ho? Kya sanjivni booti la sakte ho? Kya sina cheer ke dikha sakte ho? Nahi na..! Beta sirf shakal bandar jaisi hone se koi Hanuman nahi hota!!



Always smile,Hanso! Jiyo! Muskurao! You know why? Coz Kya Pata Kal Daant ho na ho! Keep smiling!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1ptBZQb

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 77

Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain. Santa’s Wife: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lenge? Santa: Nahin, pehchaan lenge!!



Zindagi mein hamesha SMART log milenge, kahi zyada to kahi kum milenge, choice zara sochke karna, zaroori nahi har jagah tumhe hum jaise milenge.



Patni: Main Ja rahi hun maike, Udhar ja ke Talaq ka case karungi. Pati: O Ja, Aisi Mithi baatein karke mujhe khush karne ki koshish na kara kar..!!



Woh mud mud k hume dekh rahe the aur hum unhe Woh mud mud k hume dekh rahe the aur hum unhe Kyunki Exam mein na unhe kuch aata tha na Hume!!



Life me hamesha Haste raho, Muskurate raho, Gaate raho, Gungunate raho Taaki tumhe dekhte hee log samajh jaaye ke tum ‘UNMARRIED’ ho!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1gNL6Z3

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 76

Fizayein kehti hai pyar karo Bahaarein kehti hai aankhein chaar karo Magar gharwale kehte hai abhi umar padhne ki hai beta intezaar karo!



Hum tumhe dekhna chahte hai, tumse milna chahte hai. Par ye log bahut zalim hai, mujhe tumse milne nahi de rahe, kehte hai ‘ZOO’ band hai..!!



A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein. Santa: Tu chal main sports shoes pehen ke aata hun!!



In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Student: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.. Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Student: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup..!!



Munna Bhai: How to distinguish betwn a MURGA & MURGI?? Circuit: Bole toh, simple hai bhai. Patthar maro, agar bhaga toh Murga aur bhaagi toh Murgi!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1oEBOkY

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 75

Wife=mobile, Husband=sim card, dono mile to hua recharge! Ladka hua to incoming, lerki hue to out going, kuch na hua to miss call!



Banta was making Omlet, he broke the egg n the egg was empty! Banta: kia zamana agaya ha murghi bhi abortion karati ha.



Ek din poocha Muskurahat ne humse, har pal hame kyun bulate ho? Humne kaha – Hum yaad apne yaar ko karte hai,Tum kyun chale aate ho?



Do pal ki bhi khushi na mili to kya hua hum umar bhar gam ke sahare jee lenge, Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi,hum aapki girlfriend ke sahare jee lenge!



Aaj ek aur din jeelo, Aaj ek aur khwaab dekhlo Aaj ek aur din jeelo, Aaj ek aur khwaab dekhlo Aaj ek aur Call karlo Kya pata kal balance ho na ho!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1kSdzws

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 74

A gud frnd visits u in d hospital wid flowers n leaves. A True frnd sits near u n says: Oh yaar,nurse bahut sunder hai..aaram se theek hona!



Doston kal exam hai aur aaj yeh haal hai kahan koi kitab aisi mili, jispar dil luta dete, har ek ne dimaag khaya kis-kis ko nipta dete, ab syllabus dekhkar sonchte hain k ek mahina aur hota to duniya hila dete!



Santa saw a man stealing a purse. Thief: ‘Thr is Rs.1100 in d purse.So v can take 50-50′ Santa: Oye theek hain, but wat bout d remaining 1000 rupees?



To lead a life 1 needs.. Brain, Inteligence, Ability, Talents, Character and many more qualities! but Im so proud that u can manage without these. Really yaar ur 2 gud! Lage Raho Dost!



A donkey kicked Santa & ran away. Santa ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & sed ‘Oye Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai?’



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1wChcMh

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 73

Jo har shaam tumhe ched jaye, jo har raat tumhare gaalon ko chum jaye jo har subah tumhare kano me kuch kah jaye, usse maar do wo machhar hai(Dengu se bacho)



Teri awaaz sunne ko jab taras jata hun, toh ghisa pita cd player chala leta hun. Teri surat dekhne ko jab taras jaata hoon,toh cartoon network laga leta hoon. Waqt hona chahiye kisi ko yaad karne ke liye,bahane to apne aap hi mil jate hai!



Ab tak meri life ek khuli bottle thi, jis mein se sab perfume ki tarah ud jaata tha. Par aap ke aane se sab kuch ruk gaya. Bhagwan kare aap jaisa DHAKKAN sabko mile!



Dil do to kisi ek ko, Aur do toh kisi nek ko. Jo samjhe pyaar ke matlab ko. Jab tak saccha dildar na mile, Try karte raho har ek ko.



Apke brain ki scan report aa gayi hain 10mg mitti, 10mg patthar, 500g bhusa! kamaal ho gaya! Mujhe laga brain khali hoga!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1lYUq8S

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 72

Itne errors ke saath zindagi chal rahi hain tumhari, Itne errors ke saath zindagi chal rahi hain tumhari, Naya PC kyun nahin khareedti ho aap raaj dulari?



Fizao mey tum ho, Hawao mey tum ho, Bahaaro mey tum ho, Dhup mey tum ho, Chhaon mein tum ho, Sach hi suna tha buri aatma ka koi thikana nahi hota..!



TATA SKY ka ab ek aur dhamaka offer Ab Aap HRITIK ke HOME THEATRE mein HRITIK hi nahi balki puri INDIAN TEAM ke saath baithke world cup final match dekh sakte hein!



Media asked Abhishek, wat is d difference betwn new & old Umraojaan? Abhishek: Nayi wali se apni setting hain aur purani wali se papa ki!



Aasmaan humse naraaz hai, taaron ka gussa behisaab hai! Log humse jalte hain, Kyunki chaand sa pyara DOST hamare paas hai!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/RMg9bO

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 71

Log Kehte Hain Pyaar Itna Bhi Mat Karo Ke Girlfrnd Sar Par Sawaar Ho Jaaye Hum Kehte Hain Ke Pyaar Itna Karo Ki Girlfrnd Ke Saath Uski Frnd Bhi Faraar Ho Jaaye!



Susti bhare jism ko jagate kyun nahi, Uthkar sab ke saamne aate kyon nahi, Poetry bhi tumhari smell maarti hai, Thodi himmat kar ke Nahaate kyun nahi..?



Mat kar apne husn par itna guroor aye pagli Mat kar apne husn par itna guroor aye pagli Pata hain tu use karti hain Fair & Lovely!



A couple files for the divorce & visit d court! Husband: Im not physically satisfied wid my wife. So i need a divorce! Wife: Oye! Jab saara mohalla satisfied hai.. toh tu kaunsa Nawaab hai!



Dil armanoo see housefull hai, Poore honge ya nahi doubtfull hai, Is dunya mey har cheez wonderful hai, Par zindagi aap jaise log se beautiful hai.



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1nLShll

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 70

Kaun kehte hain ki buddhe ishq nahin karte, Kaun kehte hain ki buddhe ishq nahin karte, Wo karte hain lekin log unpar shak nahin karte.



Ek kavi shaadi ke baad apni biwi se bola: Aaj se tum hee meri kavita ho,kalpana ho,bhawana ho! Patni: Mere liye bhi aaj se aap hee dinesh ho,rohit ho,rakesh ho!



Man on phone:Maa ek khush khabar hain. Hum do se teen ho gaye..! Maa:Mubarak ho, beta hua ya beti? Man:Meri biwi ne doosri shaadi karli!



Aap na hote toh hum kho gaye hote apni zindagi se ruswah ho gaye hote yuh to apko gudmrng kehne ke liye uthe hain varna hum toh abhi bhi so rahe hote!



Jaane anjane me agar maine apka dil dukhaya ho, Kabhi tang kiya ho, Badtamizi ki ho toh uske liye aapse jo ho sakta hai karlo. Kyunki hum sudharne waalon mey se nahi hai..!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1iAx9ZU

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 69

Dil se tera khayal na jaye to kya karun Tu hi bata tu yaad aaye to kya karun Hasrat yehi hai k ek nazar dekh lun tujhe Par madari tujhe roz na laye toh kya karun.



A wife is watching a cricket match when her husband comes and asks how is he looking. Wife replies Chakka! Chakka!!



American our dog find bombs, japnese our fish play football. Indian ye to kuch bhi nahi hai… hamare pass to gadhe bhi world cup khelte hai!



Teacher: Kal school kyun nahi aaya? Student:Gir gaya tha,lag gayi Teacher:Kahan gire,kahan lagi? Student:Takiye pe gir gaya tha aur aankh lag gayi!



Every Indian Woman is RANI LAKSHMI BAI in her life. RANI-Before marriage. LAKSHMI-After marriage. BAI-After children.



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1mRp2MQ

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 68

Musibat ka syrup ho tum, Tension ka capsule ho tum, Aafat ki syringe ho tum, Par kya karen jhelna padta hai, Kyun ki dosti ka oxygen ho tum!



aap aaj phir nazar nahi aaye tamanna ke phool phir murjhaye jane kin galiyon me kho gaye hai aap hum to police station se paagal khane tak dhund aaye!



Socha tumhe chand kahu par usme daag hai, Socha tumhe suraj kahu par usme aag hai, Fir socha tumhe bander kahu par.. Usme bhi dimaag hai..!



1 Man:Yaar mujhe apni galfrnd ko gift dena hai,kya dun? 2 Man:Gold ring de de. 1 Man:Koi badi cheez bata? 2 Man:M.R.F ka tyre de de!



2 points tat prove ‘Ur a Normal Student’ -Unnecessarily talking on phone -Plan each day 2 study but at d end of d day – ‘kal se pakka’



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1rpCEUO

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 67

Har gali har deewar par tera hi naam hai, Har gali har deewar par tera hi naam hai, Upar Likha hai chappal chor Aur Niche tera Inaam Hai..!!



Chintu gets ’0′ marks in his paper. Father: Yeh kya hain? Chintu: Teacher ke paas stars khatam ho gaye hain toh woh Planets dene shuru kar diye!!



Humne socha tha har mod par tumhara saath denge, Humne socha tha har mod par tumhara saath denge, par kya kare kambakht sadak hi sidhi nikli..!



Rabse Scooter manga.. Car di; Apartment manga.. bangla diya; dost manga to tumhein diya.. Rab ne iss baar aisa zulm kyun kiya?



Dosti acchi ho toh rang lati hai, Dosti sacchi ho toh sabko bhaati hai, Dosti naadaan ho toh toot jaati hai, Par agar dosti apne jaisi ho toh naseeb banaati hai!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1gIJAaC

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 66

Teacher: Prove tat things compress with cold & expand with heat. Student: Sir, Summer me chuttiyan 45 hoti hai aur Winter mey sikud ke 7 reh jati hai!



Sehwag ka beta uski maa se: Maa dekho Papa sixer pe sixer maarte jaa rahe hain! Uski Maa: Dhyaan se dekh beta, yeh live match nahi koi advertisement hoga!



Wo kehte hain hamari biwi to swarg ki apsara hai, wo kehte hain hamari biwi to swarg ki apsara hai, humne kaha khushnaseeb ho bhai, hamari to abhi zinda hai.



Jab tum aaine ke paas jaate ho to aaina kehta hai Beautiful, Beautiful aur jab tum aaine se duur jate ho to aaina kehta hai Aprilfool, Aprilfool!



Kahi andhera to kahin shaam hogi Meri har khushi tere naam hogi. Kuch maang ke to dekh humse Bijli,Paani ke bill aur Karz mey doobi property tere hee naam hogi.



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1jAKuRs

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 65

Ye Kis Tarah Yaad Aa Rahe Ho, Aankhe Band Hai Phir Bhi Nazar Aa Rahe Ho, Najane Kyon Aisa Lagta Hai, Saamne Khade Ho,Aur Sing Hila Rahe Ho!!



Hum dua karte hain khuda se ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye, Ek CARTOON jaisi cheez hai humare paas, Kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye



Apki life mey mithas ho cadbury jaisi Ronak ho Nerolac Paint jaisi Mehak ho Axe jaisi,Tazgi ho colgate jaisi aur aap tension free rahe Huggies jaise!



Pyar kabhi na karna pardesi se rote-rote naina thak jayenge. Pyar karna hamesha padosi se roz khidki se darshan ho jayenge..!!



A Friend is like a Pitara, in which v can store our Vichaar Dhara When life seems Khatara, Then, only a FRIEND is a true Sahara!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1mQbjFZ

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 64

Har Gali Har Deewar par Tera Hi Naam Hai, Har Gali Har Deewar par Tera Hi Naam Hai, Upar Likha hai Most Wanted Aur Niche Paanch Hazar Rupaye Ka Inaam Hai.



Meri chaahat ki nahi koi seema Meri chaahat ki nahi koi seema par dil majboor hai.. kyunki.. sabki pasand Nirma!!



Laaga chunari mein daag chupaon kaise, Laaga chunari mein daag chupaon kaise, Arre bhai chupaate kyon ho.. Surf Excel hai na!!



Maine pyaar tujhi se kiya hai Maine dil bhi tujhi ko diya hai Itna khush mat ho! Isiliye kyunki Market mein aur koi choice hee nahi thi!



Premi:Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, kuch narm sa,Kuch namkin sa,Kuch mitha sa kaho! Premika: Dhokla!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1ttNSTU

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 63

Surat surat kya karti ho Surat main koi dum nahi Agar tum khud ko samajhti ho Madhuri Hum bhi Shahrukh say kum nahi



Mathematical joke: (13x13x13)=? Think deeply Donno? Ans: SUROOR! Tera(13)*tera(13)*tera(13)=SUROOR



Wat is d main reason for India losing in d World Cup? Mrs.Indira Gandhi How? coz she was d one who created Bangladesh!



Jab professor tumhe class se bahar nikale TO samajhlo ki tarakki kar rahe ho. He might b afraid dat u know more than him!



KASH… INDIA SE PAKISTAN ALAG NA HOTA, TOH PAKISTAN SE BANGLADESH NA ALAG HOTA… AUR.. INDIA BANGLADESH KA MATCH NA HOTA, AUR INDIA KA MUH KAALA NA HOTA…



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1k7tfNr

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 62

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai. Kharcha karo to bole ‘Darling,how ru?’ Na karo to bole ‘Brother,who ru?’



2 birds sitting on a tree. A shikari came & shot 1 of them. The other flew away.. why? Saala POLICE ke lafde me kaun padega??



Ho gayi galti humse, click ho gaya Mouse! Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri Spouse!



Khwaab ho tum ya koi haqeeqat kaun ho tum batlao.. Khwaab ho tum ya koi haqeeqat kaun ho tum batlao… Jagaao jagaao… Nescafe pilaao !!



Maana ki “pyaar” ka pehla akshar hi adhura hai Lekin ‘pyaar’ me se ‘p’ ko nikal do to ‘yaar’ reh jata hai aur aap jaisa yaar ho to zindagi se pyaar ho jata hai



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1iyNePP

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 61

Macchar aur makkhi ki ho gayi shaadi Pehli raat se ho gayi macchar ki barbadi kehta hai ki meri kismat khoti hai kyunki makkhi JET lagakar Soti Hai..!



Hoton se jo choo liya, Ehsaas Ab tak hai, Aankhe Nam hai, Aur saanson mey aag ab tak hain.. Aur kyon na ho? Khayi Bhi to ‘HARI MIRCH’ hai!



Duniya me bewafaon ki kami nahi Ab SURAJ ko hi dekh lo.. aata hai USHA k saath rehta hai KIRAN ke saath jata hai SANDHYA ke saath aur sota hai NISHA ke saath.!



Twinkle twinkle lazy star, kitna soyega uthja yaar, up above the world so high, sun has risen in the sky, uthke jaldi PEE LE CHAI, then u call and say me HI!



Unka aashiyan dil mey basa rakha hai, unki yaadon ko seene se laga rakha hai Pata nahin aap hi yaad aate hai kyon? Dost to humne hazaaron ko bana rakha hai!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1ko8hV1

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 60

1 dost ne apne dost ko janmdin par fevicol gift kiya Ispar uske dost ne yeh gaana gaaya ‘Dushman na kare dost ne vo kaam kiya hai Umr bhar ka GUM hame inaam diya hai.’



Mausaam mastana dil hai deewana, Aise may tum.. Aise may tum.. Tum.. Haan tum,tum, Lux se do baar nahakar aana..!



Moon ne Band ki Lighting, Sun ne shuru ki shining Murge ne di hai warning ki ho gayi hai Morning, toh Hum bhi bol de aap ko Good Morning!



Har nazar ko ek nazar ki talash hai, har chehre me kuch Khaas hai, apse dosti yunhi nahi kar baithe, kya kare hamari pasand hee kuch KHAAS hai



Unki gali se hum nikle.. Ajeeb ittefaq tha… Phool to pheka unhone… Lekin.. Gamla bhi saath tha..!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1iyqLCu

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 59

Aap Bahut door tak jaoge aap Bahut door tak jaoge Pata hai kyon? kyonki jahan bhi jaoge log kahenge chal chal aage ja.



Apke liye film me baat ki hai Chhota sa role hai, John Abraham apko paani me le jayega. Film ka naam hain.. GAYI BHAINS PANI ME



Ummidon ki imaarat toot gayi Khwabon ki duniya beh gayi, Abey teri kya value reh gayi, Jab ek khoobsorat ladki tere ko bhaiyya keh gayi..!!



Zuban khamosh ho jati hai jab tum samne ati ho Dil zor-zor se dhadakta hai jab nigahe milati ho Sans ruk jati hai jab tum hasti ho Bhoot ho kya jo darane chali ati ho.



Shaadi se pehle Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge Shaadi ke baad Baaki sab Sukhi Ho Jayenge Nikah ke pehle chal chaiyya chaiyya Nikah ke baad aah ab laut chale..!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1wxiMis

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 58

Pichkari ki Dhaar, Gulaal ki bauchaar, Apno ka pyaar, Yehi hai yaaron holi ka tyohaar. Happy Holi..!!



Most Innocent Dhamki: As d thief was leaving d house, D kid woke up & sed 2 d Thief – ‘Mera School Bag bhi lekar jao Varna, Main Mummy ko utha doonga.’



Jo sagar ne kaha lehron se, Jo ped ne kaha patto se, Jo phoolon ne kaha kaliyon se, wohi main tumhe kehta hun, aey chal chal hawa aane de..!



If U Love Someone, Just Dont Tell It . . . . . Bcoz iss mey us masoom ki kya galti hai, woh kyon sazaa bhugtey?



Namskar! Aajka tapmaan 44 degree hone ki sambhavna hai. Kripya apne demaag wali jagah pe baraf (ice) laga k rakhe kyunki BHUSA JALDI AAG PAKDTA HAI..!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1gGUZYu

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 57

Hum ho gaye tumhare bohut sochne k baad Ab kisko dekhein tumhe dekhne k baad Dunya chod denge tujhe chodne k baad Khuda maaf karey.. itna jhoot bolne k baad..!



True Bravery: 2 arrive hme..fully drunk. A late night out & Mom waitin with Jhaadu & u ask: ‘ Hey Mom abhi tak safaai kar rahi ho? ‘..!!



Aankho mey ‘SHARAFAT’ chaal mey ‘NAJAKAT’ dil mey ‘SACHCHAI’ aur chehre mey ‘SAFAAI’ Phir kyon na bole har ladki apko ‘BHAI’



Plz dont read dis Nahi to ho jayega Kya? Arre wahi jisse hum darte hai wahi jo is umar me aksar ho jata hai dekha ho gaya na TIME WASTE!



Rango ke tyohar mey sabhi rango ki ho bharmar Dher saari khushiyon se bhara ho apka sansar Yahi dua hai bhagwan se hamari har bar Holi Mubarak ho mere yaar!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1lWlEwO

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 56

Apke hee charche har gali mein hai Har ladki ke dil mein aapke liye pyar hai Ye koi chamtkar nahi Time hi aisa hai kyonki kuch hi dino me RAKHI ka tyohaar hai.



Doston ki kadar karte hain itni, Asman me roshni hai jitni. Yakin nhi to CALL kar k dekho, Hum karenge baat apse utni apke MOBILE me lakshmi hai jitni.



Jab jab ghire badal teri yaad aayi, Jhoom ke barsa sawan teri yaad aayi, Bheegi main phir bhi teri yaad aayi, Ab nahin raha jata, CHATRI LAUTA DE BHAI…



Tum chale gaye to bagh se titliyaan chali gayi. Phool murjha gaye aur Patte bhi jhad gaye Ab toh Garden Mey Paani Dalne aaja RAMU



Lamha Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega Chand Lamhon Mey Exam Sar Pe Ajayega Abhi Bhi Waqt Hai Do Line Padh Lo Warna Paas Kya Munna Bhai Karwaye Ga?



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1lWeVTL

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 55

Aapke haath me mobile hai.. Chehere pe sundar c smile hai… SMS ki achchi khasi File hai… Phir bhi SMS nahi karte… yaar, yeh kaun sa stupid style hai?



SMS likh raha hoon khoon se ink mat samajhna SMS likh raha hoon khoon se ink mat samajhna Kisi macchar ka sample mila tha mera mat samajhna!



chalte chalte kahi ruk jata hu me bethe bethe kahi ko jata hu me kehte khte E chup O jata hu me kia yhi pyar hai, ye pyar ni Bhulne k bmari hai!



Pyar ko mat chhupao, usey zarurat hai jatane ki, Apni pratibhaon ko mat chupao, unhe zarurat hai badhane ki, Ab aur perfume mat lagao, tumhe zarurat hai nahane ki.



Q: Which song wil a kid sing wen he starts goin 2 d nursery? A: KG kiya re, KG kiya re!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/RItAcX

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 54

Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain….



Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya



Tu chandramukhi main surajmukhi, tu mujhse dukhi main tujhse dukhi. Chatt se chhalang laga de, phir tu bhi sukhi, main bhi sukhi



Apko MULAYAM ki akal, LALOO ki shakal, Mayawati ki wani, JAYA ki jawani, KALAM jaise baal, ATAL jaisi chaal mile.. GOOD LUCK!!



Q: How do you make a flying cobra land? A: Just say ‘NAGA’LAND



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/SWxqjO

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 53

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai? Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI



Santa traveling 1′st time in plane going 2 mumbai. While its landing, he shouted ‘Bombay..Bombay’ Air hostess said “B silent”..Santa said “OK”..Ombay Ombay”



Munna Bhai: abbey circuit agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya larne ka. Circuit: Bhai bole to bina sui k 14 injection laga lene ka Kya.



Hutch walon ka kutta aaj subah hi chal basa, aur ab woh bandar se ad karvana chahte hain! Tujhe meri dosti kasam …………… tuuuuu nahi jayega!



Ye Scooty kab li? Banta: Kal ek ladki mujhe scooty par le gaye sare kaprey utar kar boli jo chahiyey le lo, Maine socha kaprey ka kya karoongaa, So Scooty li.



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1oAnIAU

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 52

Din Guzar gaya hai Intezaar Mai Raat Guzar gayi Intezaar mai Naya Saal Mubark ho Aap ko 2006 beet gaya Aap ke SMS k intezar mai



Sunehri Dhoop Barsaat ke baad Thori si Hansi har Baat ke baad usi tarag ho Mubarik aap ko 2007, 2006 ke baad Wish u a Happy new year!



Naya Saal aaye banke Ujala Khul jaye Aap ki Kissmat ka Tala Hamesha Aap per rahe Meherban Upar wala Chand Tarey bhi Aap per hi Rosni dale Happy New year.



Santa Singh: Yaar Banta Dr. ne kaha mujhe aids hai. Yeh aids hoti kya hai? Banta Singh: A – Ab I – Iss D – Duniya se S – SasriYakaal



Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai, Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai, Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1tsokqb

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 50

Santa :”I love you. Mai tumse bohot pyar karta hoon . . . . . Girl :”I am lesbian . . . . . Santa :”Lesbian Means ??? . . . . . Girl :”Jise ladkiyo mei interest ho . . . . . . Santa :”De Taali !!! I am also a lesbian



Ek Handsome boy class mein aaya aur Saari girls dekhte hi deewani ho gai . . . . phir Larke ne aate hi kuch kaha To girls behosh… . Socho kya kaha hoga? . . . ?? Thori Jagah Dena, Jhaaru Lagana Hai



Bacha:- Bhagwan kare teacher ki zuban cut jaye. Roz roz dant ti hai. Next day zuban cut gai.. Bacha :- Bhagwan kare master ka hath toot jaye. Tang krta hai… bahut marta hai. Next day hath toot jata hai… Bacha :- Bhagwan mere BAAP ko utha le. Bahut marte hai. Next day baap ghar aate hain, Bacha :- Papa Aapko kuch nahi hua ?? . Baap :- Nahi kyo Bacha :- Maa kahan hain…?? Baap :- pados me SHARMA uncle ki death ho gai hai, wahan Gayi hain.. jo samajh gaya wo LiKE thok Do..:-



Difference between Husband & Gadha. Ans: Husband Gadha ban sakta hai, But Gadha itna bhi Gadha nahi k Husband bane!



Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1lVusD9

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 49

Patni: Jab tum Desi pite ho muze Paro kehte ho. Beer pite ho to Darling. Par aaj Bhootni kyu? Pati: Aaj maine SPRITE piya hai, ‘Seedhi baat no bakwas’



A recently fired stock trader said … “This is worse than divorce… I have lost everything and I still have my wife…”



Fact: Scientists hav proved that there are 648155648910 people in the world who r too lazy to read the above number. Nw dnt see and read….!!!!!!!!



During chat Boy: Hi . Girl: What? . Boy: How are u? Girl: Do I know u? . Boy: I’m rich.. . . . Girl: Oh! Hi… My name is Mary but u can call me”baby” I’m 19 & I stay in Runda. I love short dark men, especially like u&I’m glad to meet you. So, when are we going out? . . . Boy:No, no, no”Rich”is my name . . . . . . . . Girl: Sorry I don’t talk to stranges…



Boys ka common sense zero hota hai.. Kaise??????? . . … . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gents toilet me likh kar aayenge… “Priya I Love you” Ab kya priya waha padhne jaati hai !!!!!!!!! :p



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1nI1jQo

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 48

Maine ek din wall me Non Veg Joke post kiya.. . . ek ladki ne comment kiya:”samajh me nahi aaya joke.. . ek Ladke ne us ladki k comment ka reply kiya.. . , Ladka:”samajh me nhi aya to”POGO” dekh..:p . . after 3 days, ladki ka fir comment aaya . . . Ladki:”yaar 3 din se POGO dekh rahi hu, par joke abi tak samajh me nahi aaya..:p



America mein light gayi toh power office mein phone karti hain! . . . . . Japan mein gayi toh fuse check karte hai.. . . . Par . . . India mein gayi toh padosi ka ghar dekhte hai “sabki gayi hai na toh phir thik hai ”



Daaku Bank Lootne Gaye. Gun Ghar Mein hi Bhool Gayee Fir Bhi Bank Loot Liya Kaise? Bank Manager apna baniya Tha, Bola – Koi Baat Nai I Trust U, Gun Mujhe Kal Dikha Dena G.!



heights of guessing an answer!!!!… teacher:who is chandra gupta morya???? student:i think he is the brother of ganpati bapa morya!!!!XD XD



!!!… Dhamaka Offer …!!! Gutka, Man Poori, Paan Aur Ciggarate Istimal Karne Walon Ke Liye “”Man Poori Khao.. Naseeb Jagao Offer”" Bumper Prizes 1st Prize: Cancer 2nd Prize: Kidney Diease 3rd Prize: Lungs Disease Iske Elawa Bee-Shumar Qeemti Beemariyan!!! Yeh Scheme Mehdood Muddat Ke Liye Hai… Jaldi Kijiye!!! Kahin Govt. Band Na Laga Dey.. Jaldi Kijiye!!! Kahin Zindagi Lambi Na Hojai… Har Gutke Ki Pudiya Par Mamooli Beemariyan Muft Haasil Karain Kam Az Kam 2 Pudiyan Roo



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1poTYai

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 47

BOY: Agar wo meri nehi hui, to kisika nehi hone dunga…. . . . . . FRNDS FRM BEHIND: Aur agar wo teri hui, to kya sabka hone dega..??!!!!



A Chaiwala was Flirting a Beautiful Girl in Romantic StyleB-) :- Bholi si Surat Aaankhon mein masti Durrr khadi Sharmaaye… Aaaaay haaaaye… B-) Girl >:O :- Kaali si Surat Haathon mein Kitli Dur Khada Chillaaaye … Chai Chaiiiii…



2 ladkiyan best friends thi… Ittefaq se dono ki mout ho gai Marny k bad dono ki rooh mili Or ek dusry se marney ki Wajah puchi . Pehli Boli: Main apne pati pr boht ziada shak krti thi k kahin Wo dusri Larkiyun se to nhi milta Yehi soch kr 1 din mane office se jaldi ghar aakr dekha k pati akela hi betha hai . ye dekh kr ma khushi se mar gai . . . Dusri Boli: kash us waqt tum ne “freezer” khol k dekh liya hota to na tum khushi se marti or na main sardi se



PAPPU Biwi Se: Pani Pila Do … Biwi :- Kya! ,Pyaas Lagi Hai ?? .. … .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. …….. …………… ……… PAPPU (Gussey se): “Nahi”Gala Check Karna Hai Kahin se”LEAK”to Nahi Hai =P xD



Doctor to Female : Kya aap delivery ke time baache ke pita ko apne paas dekhna chahenge? . . . . . . . . . Female : Nahi, unhe mere pati pasand nahi karte!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1gF8kka

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 46

In Exam Hall A Girl To Boy: Mujhe Bas Is Ans Ki Starting Bata Do Baki Main Likh Lungi.. . . Ladke Ne Dhyan Se Idhar-Udhar Dekha, Fir Dhire Se Bola:” . . . . . “The”



Power of Maths: One day a box was’nt opening. Lawyer came, applied all laws but it didnt open.. Chemist came, applied all reactions but it didnt open.. Physician came, applied all forces but it didnt open.. Then mathematician came and said…. . . . Let us assume the box is open. !!!Superb!!!



Teacher:children whom U hate d most? UKG student: raja ram mohan roy Teacher:Oh god!!Y? UKG boy:He stopped the child marriages. Crazy genaration…



Ladka:”I LOVE YOU . Ladki:”sorry main kisi or se pyar krti hu Ladka udas ho gya phir achanak bhagne laga or bola: . . . . Teri mummy ko Btaunga. . Ladki:”Ruk Ja kamine i Love You too…



Boss asked Banta to buy two corner tickets for a movie to watch with his Girlfriend. . . . . Banta bought two corner tickets: A1 …………… A25



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1pBFNfu

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 45

Psychology ka practical ho ra tha. Profesr ne 1 chuhe? k liye ek tarf CAKE? or dusri tarf CHUHIYA ??rak di. Chuha? fouran Cake? ki tarf lapka Dusri baar Cake? ko badal kr ROTI?? raki. Chuha Roti?? ki tarf lapka Is tarah kai baar food-item badle mgr chuha har bar food ki tarf bhaga. Profesr: Bas, sabit ho gya ki Hunger is bigger than girl. Itne me last row ki bench s baba Ranchor das: Sir, 1 bar chuhiya?? badal ke bhi dekh lo, ho skta h wo uski “BIWI” ho.



Wife = Where R u.? Husband ?= I’m At “Bank”. Wife = Wow thats good ? I need 20,000 ?? For new Cell Phone ,5,000 ?? for new dress ?, 6000?? for new shoes?, 4000?? for new purse?, 8000?? for my new cosmetics Husband ? = Sorry , I mean I am at Blood bank “KHOON PIYEGI KHOON ?”??



Santa: Wo jo table pe aadmi baitha hai us se hamari dushmanihai. . . . Pappu: abe Table pe to 4 aadmi hain. . . Santa: Wo jiski muchhein hain. . Pappu: Muchhein to sub ki hain. . Santa: Wo jis k safed kapre hain. . Pappu: Wo to sub ke safed hain . Santa: ne gusse mein pistol nikala aur 3 aadmion ko maar kar bola. Wo jo kamina reh gaya hai usko mai nahi chhoduga..?



WIFE:” Aaj to 5 rupey ke 3 pyaz mil gaye.. . . HUSBAND (Excited ):” Wo kaise ?? . WIFE:” 5 rupey ka 1 usne diya, 1 mai utha ke bhaag gayi, aur 1 usne mujhe fek ke mara, maine usko utha liya..??



Ek baar Lala pappu ke dukan me gaya Lala: Machis hae kya?? Pappu lighter leke aaya.. Pappu: ye lijiye Lala ne pappu ko jordar thappad mara Pappu ko din me tare najar aa gaye Lala: Sale lighter se koi kaan khujata hae kya :> )



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1hCF2h9

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 44

Hathi ki bike bigad gayi, Chiti ne use scooty par lift di, Raste me chiti ne kha . . . . . “Thoda Niche Jhuk Kar Baith Na Dad Ne Dekh Liya To Bawal Ho Jayega”.



Boy: How many apples can you eat in empty stomach? Girl: I can eat 6 apples. Boy: you can eat only 1 apple in empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that’s not in empty stomach.



Ek Budiya Cinema Hall Me Coldrink Ki Botle Leke Bethi Thi, Kabhi 15 Min Me Muh Ko Lagati To Kabhi 20 Min Me, Pas Bethe Santa Ko Gussa Aa Gaya, Usne Budhiya Se Botal Chini Aur Puri 1 Ghut Me Pikar Bola :– Aise Peete Hai, . . Budiya Boli- Par Beta Mai To Pan Thook Rahi Thi.



Ek Bar Pappu Interview ke liye jata hai…. Boss – Aisi kaun se chij hai, jisme to pahiye hote hain? Pappu – Cycle Boss – Nahi, Hero Cycle. Boss – Accha ek or chij batao, aise kaun si chiz hai, jisme chaar pahiye hote hain? Pappu- Car? Boss – Nahi, Honda Car. Pappu – Ab mein ek question puchu kya aapse? Boss – Yes, Pappu – Aise kaun se chij hai, Jo Safed Gole ke ander Kale gole jese lagti hai? Boss – Aankh? Pappu – Nahi, Saale…..Teriiii Maaaaa Ki Aankhhhh….



Always keep Ur photo in ur parents purse. Whenevr dey r in trouble, tel dem 2 see ur photo. They’ll feel dat no other prblm is bigger dan this one..!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1wt2R4M

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 43

What is a girl friend? Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.



Boy – I Love You..!!! . Girl- Khud ka muh dekh kamine . . Boy- dekha hai isi liye to tumhe love u kahe raha hu, nhi to katreena ke paas na jata kamini :p



U can’t beat this-! Manager-Hamara Bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai Santa-Jab dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyon de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye! Gm



WARNING message 4 your good health: Please don’t eat Chips Pizzas Burgers Ice Creams And Chocolates . .. … without me!



Mareez- Dr. Sahab Mein boht khush rehta hoon, Neend sukoon se aati hai, Zindagi main Aman hi Aman hai, Har kaam main Dil b Lagta hai, Koi pareshani hi nahi. Aisa kiyon hai ? Doctor: Mein aap ki Bimari samajh gaya hoon. Aap ki zindagi may Vitamin “she” ki kami hai…



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1kOjJ0A

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 42

S.G.Group, Ek ladki raste pe akeli jaa rahi thi.. . . . Ek ladka bola:”ghar tak lift chahiyekya.. ?? . . . . . . Ladki:”bhag saale, 3 din se lift le rahi hu, . . Ab tak ghar nahi pahunchi..



A sweet poem about “POTTY” “potty meri pyari potty, Shauchalay ki rani potty, Subah-Subah jab aye potty, Ghar angan mehkae potty, Pili potty, kali potty, Haye re meri nyari potty, Kudrat ka dastur nirala, Sabko hi aaye hai potty, Khul ke jo na aaye potty, sachchi bada sataye potty, Lagatar jo aaye potty, sabke hosh udaye potty, Pet ke andar factory kaisi, Jo ke roz banaye potty.



Sab Kehte Hai Dunia Me Maa-Baap Se Badkar KoiNhi Isliye Jaldi Se Shadi Karlo Aur Maa-Baap Ban Jao Rishta Wahi,Soch Nayi.



A C A Student went & proposed a. girl Girl : What can u do to make me love you ? Boy : I will do what ever u want, I vl bring stars from the sky, I vl jump from where ever u say, I vl do anything for u. … Girl : Can u complete ur C A without a single back?? . . . Boy : Chalta hu behan….. apna khyal rakhna …!!!



Interviewer: Let me check your word Power. pappu : Ok Sir. Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good.. … . .pappu: hmmmm… Bad Interviewer: Come pappu: Go. Interviewer: Ugly. pappu: Pichlli. Interviewer: PICHLLIIIII???? pappu: UGLYYYYYYYYY. Interviewer: Shut Up. pappu: Keep Talking. Interviewer: Ok now stop these all. pappu: now carry on this all Interviewer:abe … chup ho ja.chup ho ja.chupho jaaaa pappu: abe… bolta rah.bolta rah.bolta rahhh Interviewer: Areeee yaaar pappu: areeee dushmannnnnn Interviewer: Get Out. pappu: Come In. Interviewer: Oh my God. pappu: Oh my Devil. Interviewer: U r Rejected. pappu: I m selected…Thank u thank u sir…:) :p



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/SUrgRg

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 41

JAY~MAHANKAL Garmi se bachney k lye Enter Passwrd: ****** *****O ****LO ***ALO **HALO *AHALO NAHALO Code accepted Welcome 2 B A T H R O O M —-& ,’,',’, , ‘,’ ,’,', ,’ ,(‘.’)>,’OLa La ,</"/, ,', '_/ /_', Hanso mat ....!G9!



Wife Bathroom Se Naha Ke Nikli To Santa Use Ghur Raha Tha! Wife Romantic Hokar: Kuch Karne Ka Irada Hai Kya? Santa 2 Thappad Maar Ke Bola: Mere Garm Pani Se Kyu Nahayi!



Har karz dosti ka ada kaun karenga, Hum hi nahi rahe to dosti kaun karge, A khuda salamat rakhna mere dosto ko, Wo nahi rahe to meri shaadi me bartan kaun saaf karega?



NEW TEACHER : all students introduce ur name and hobbies! 1st boy : my name is nitesh nd my hobby is watching moon 2nd boy : my name is sandy and hobby is watching moon 3rd boy: my name is khan & my hobby is watching moon all boys told their different names but hobby was same TEACHER : good all boys have same hobby now its girl’s turn, . . 1st girl : hi my name is moon:0



Engineering Student Sitting with His Girlfriend in Restaurant, . . Drinking Beer n Says:- “I Love youuuu” . Girlfriend:- Is It U Or The Beer talking ? . Student:- Its Me, Talking To My Beer, U Shut Up” :/ :@ :p



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1oNKyCW

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 40

Most STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situation.. . 1. At movies:” hey! What r u doing here.. ?? . Me:” tujhe nahi pata yaar.. ?? Mai yaha ticket black karne aata hu.. . . 2. In bus:” A fat lady steps onmy feet: “arey!! beta lagi to nahi.. . Me:” Nai aunty bahot maja aaya ek baar fir se karo na.. . . 3. When i got woken up at midnight by a call:” sorry yaar! So raha tha kya.. ?? . Me:” Nai yaar! Mai to bs late kr dekh rha tha nend hoti kaise h . 4. when they see me with shorter hair: “yaar! Baal katwaye hai kya.. ?? . Me:” Pata Nahi Yaar!! raat ko soya tha subah uth kar dekha to andar chale gaye!! . . 5. When some 1 call me on myland line n asks “where r u.. ?? . Me:” yaar mai market mai hu, phone b gale me latka kar le aaya hu..



Aankho mein basne wala pyaara sa ishara ho?. Andheri raat mein chamakta sitara ho?. Chhu bhi nahi sakti udasi kabhi usko?. Jiska Koi DOST itna pyaara ho..!!



Mjh se ab yeh “judai” ka ZEHaR piya Nahi jata. Ho Sake to 1 Thandi “coke” pila do (‘.’)/naly gal sun /) ( ! ! Chips v le i .. .



S.G.Group, Santa:” mujhe uss ladki se bachao.. . . . Banta:” kyo ?? . . . Santa:” jab se maine kaha dil cheer k dekh tera hi naam hoga.. saali chaku leke piche pad gyi hai..



Boy:” Tumhara Naam Kya Hai ?? . . Girl:” Mina, Aur Tumhara ?? . . Boy:” Kamina . . Girl:” Jhoot Mat Bolo.. . . Boy:” Tum 5 mint Pass Beth Ke Dekh Lo Tum Isi Naam Se Bulaogi.. )



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1wrxCH7

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 39

The best example for “Incredible India” is: “One has to check both sides while crossing even a one-way road..!!



3 guys named WHAT, WHY, WHEN were talkin WHAT:WHY what r u doing? WHY:i dont know what iam doing. WHAT:why? WHY:why r u caling me? what? WHAT:now why did u cal me? WHY:what! When did i cal u? WHEN:in ur problem why r u callin me? WHY:what? did i cal u? When? WHAT & WHEN: what WHEN:why r u caling urself? WHY: did i cal myself, when? WHEN:what? WHAT:why did u cal me? Dont ask when? WHY & WHEN: what Now forward n kill others head..:-P:-D



kya ap switzerland jana chahte ho???? aur 5 star hotel me rehna chahte ho?? to visit kijiye hamari web site pe… http://ift.tt/1wrff5o raho/kya samze.com



Bhikari- Roti do sahab.. Gharme se awaz aayi- aage jao ghar me biwi nhi hai… Bhikari- aabe roti mangi hai CHUMA nhi maga kamine.. :p



Ek bar engineering ke sabhi Professores ko ek plane mein bithaya gaya.. Fir announce kiya gaya ki ?YE PLANE APKE STUDENTS NE BNAYA HAI? Sab profesrs utar gaye? Par principal baithe rahe Logo ne pucha: Aapko Darr nahi lgta? Principle: Muje apne studnts par pura bharosa hai. Ye start hi nahi hoga!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1mJTWGX

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 38

Lalu JI 1 Mahine BUSH Se English Sikh kar Aye.. 1 Din 1 Phone Aya or Lalu Ji Bole- Who Is Speaking ? . . Jawab Aya.. . . Sasura Hum Bol Raha Hu BUSHVA..



Difference Between Husband & Gadha. Ans: Husband Gadha Ban Sakta Hai, But Gadha Itna Bhi Gadha Nahi K Husband Bane



18 Yrs Old Boy :- Will U Be My Girlfriend? 18 Yrs Old Girl :- Get Lost! No! . . . . . 5 Yrs Old Boy :- Will U Be My Girlfriend? . 18 Yrs Old Girl :- OMG! U R So Cute, (^_^) Yes, Yes, I Will! . . . . . Hey Bhagwan Ye Kaisi Leela Hai Tumhari.



Girlfriend V/s Friend Girlfriend: Exam Kaisa Gaya Dear? Boy: Bahut Acha Gaya, Mast Tha Sweetheart. Friend: Kaisa Gaya Yaar Exam? Boy: Abe Saale Bhootni K Tujhe Koi Aur Topic Nhi Milta Kya Mood Kharab Karne K Liye Kamine Saala Meko Kya Pata Tha Ki English Ka Paper Hai.. Main To History Padh K Gaya Tha.



English Class. . Kid: Me Sleep With Dad Last Night . Madam Corrected: No Beta, I Slept With Dad Last Night . Kid: Aap Mere Sone Ke Baad Aayi Hongi..:p



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1pn2U05

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 37

Larka: I Luv U Tum Dunya Ki Sab Se Khobsurat Larki Ho . Larki: Acha Par Tumhare Peechy Mujhse Bhi Ziyada Haseen Larki Khari Hy . Larka Mur Ke Peechy Dekhta Hy Par Wahan Koi Nahi Hoti Larki: Agar Tum Such Main Mujhse Pyar Karty To Kabhi Peechy Na Dekhty I Hate U . MORAL: Moral Woral Kuch Nahi, Bachi Tez Nikli, lahore di c. . (Par Msg Abhi Baki Hy Mere Dost) . Larka: Jese Tumhari Marzi Mgar Ab Ye Diamond Ring Main Kis Ko dunga.? Larki main to mazak kr rhi thi Janu I Luv U 2.. Moral: Phir Moral woral kuch nhi, Munda. V (FAISALABAD) da c,



Boys are always Happy Creatures…WHY? 1-Their last name stays with them forever, 2-Phone conversatns last just for 30 secs flat, 3-A five day vacation requires only one jeans, 4-If someone forgets to invite them, he can still be their friend, 5-The same hairstyle lasts for years or even decades, 6-They can do shopping for 25 relatives in 25 minutes, 7-They dont freak out when they go to a party n see another man wearing the same shirt, instead they become buddies… Pass this to women who can digest it..and To Men who’ll enjoy reading it…!! :)..



Police:madam darvaja kholo Aapke pati truck k neeche aa kar Papad ban gaye hai. Lady: to drwaja kholne ki kya jarurat hai. Niche se sarka do.



Srdr Saw An Airtel Tower Red Light Glowing On Top. He Said 2 His Wife. India Is Very Developing Country C There Traffic Signal For Aeroplane’s.



Santa: Mera Beta Bike Se Girgaya :]Xx :’( Doc.:I Don’t Know Hindi ! Speak In English :/ /:) . . . . . . .Santa: My Londa Gironda From Hero Honda =D \=D/ =)) \=D/ =)) \=D/



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1jvVP5a

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 36

A poor man catches a fish, but he wasn’t able to cook it coz there was,,, No gas, No oil, No spices, Man put d fish back in d water. . . Fish shouts :”CONGRESS ZINDABAD”



With so much corruption around, here is a corruption special… . . . . . . . . . . . Ye Jo Silsila Chal Nikla Hai Jahaan Mein Rishwaton Ka, Tum Bhi Kuch Le De Ke Meri Kyu Nahi Ho Jati!?



An Arab being interviewed at the US Embassy CONSUL: “Your name, please?” ARAB: “Abdul Aziz.” CONSUL: “Sex?” ARAB: “SIX times a week.” CONSUL: “I mean, male or female?” ARAB: “Both male & female & sometimes even camels.” CONSUL: “Holy cow!” ARAB:”Yes, cows & dogs too.” CONSUL:”Man, isn’t that hostile?” ARAB:”Horse style, dog style,any style!” CONSUL:”Oh dear!” ARAB:”Deer?No deer, they run too fast!!?



Yeh Zindgi Bahut Choti Si Hai Yaaron.. Enjoy Kar Lo.. . . Kya Pata.. . . . . . . Kab Pyaar Ho Jaaye Aur Life ki waat lag Jaaye.



3 kaale dost ek sath ja rahay they. K achanak 1 pari aai or kaha k main tum 3 ki 1-1 wish poori karun gi. 1st: main white or khoob soorat hona chahta hun. Pari ne us ko white or khoob soorat bana diya. 2nd walay ne b yahi wish ki. Pari ne Us ki b wish poori ho gai. Teesra zor zor hans raha tha. Pari ne kaha hanso mat or wish batao Teesra bola: in dono ko phir se kala kar do. Moral: Dost hote hi kaminy han ::D:D:D:D



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1rjq1KM

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 35

Kurji : yar shadi tut gai. Murji : kya hua? Kurji : kuchh nahi ladki ke bap ko kaha ki aap ki beti ko behan ki tarah sambhaluga



strange but true- believe in love …!Love has great power ! It can ” REMOVE ” misunderstandings, Anxieties, worries Doubts, Fears ,Tears , T shirts, Tops, Jeans etcetc etc …



In an Aeroplane, after 4-5 drinks- British- I will sleep now??. American- I want to work on internet. German- I will watch movies now. Chinese- I will listen to music now. INDIAN- Aaj tera bhai plane chalayega..??



Teacher: ‘loffer’ aur ‘offer’ me kya antar he??? . Student: Simple mam.. ‘ladka ‘i love u’ bole toh lofer aur ladki ‘i love u’ bole toh offer..



1 Building jo 107 Floor ki thi, usme 3 dost saath rahe te the.. . . 1 Din Lifit kharab ho gayi, to wo stairs se uper jane lage chadte-chadte bor na ho jaye isliye socha ki . 1st Friend Kisi Jang(war) Ki Story Sunaye ga . 2nd friend Koi Funny Story aur . 3rd wala Koi Sad Story Sunaega . . . . Is Tarha 107th Floor tak Pahuch Jaayenge . 1st Ne Jung Ki Story Sunai aur 50 Floor Tak Pohnch Gaye . 2nd Ne Funny Story Sunai aur wo 99 Floor Par Ponch Gaye Phir.. . 3rd sad face karke bola:- yaaro sad story ye hai ki . . apne FLAT ki chabi CAR me hi reh gayi hai ..,



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1nY4nWG

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 34

Ek baar ek aadmi k saamne sher aa gya, usne upar dekhte hue kaha, “bhagwan main to mar gya”. Us din bhagwaan b mood mein the, upar se awaaz aayi, “ek patthar utha, aur sher k sarpe maar de”, usne maar diya, phr upar se awaaz aayi, “Beta, mara to tu ab hai”



Ek baar 1 Train achanak patri se utar gayi, Kheton mein idhar udhar jaane lagi aur fir wapas patri par aa gayi. Railway walon ne driver Santa pe enquiry bithai … Puchha ki kya hua. . . Santa: “Ek aadmi patri par khada tha aur hat hi nahi raha tha”. Officer to Santa :- Pagal ho kya? 1 admi ke liye tumne sare passengers ki zindagi jokhim mein daal di? Us 1 aadmi ko kuchal dena tha !!!” Santa: “Main wahi to karne jaa raha tha ki achanak wo patri se utar kar kheton mein idhar udhar bhagne laga or fir mene b train uski taraf ghuma di . .



Santa ( samosa khate huye) Banta.:tum samose ke bass aloo kyu kha rahe.ho Santa:doctor ne mujhe bhaar ka khane se mana kiya hai



Vinamra Suchna- Barish k mosam me Sote Samay sare kapde Utaar kr soye, . . . . . . . . . . bahar Rassi pe reh gaye to bheeg jayenge.!! Dirty mind…!!



(A real story) Wo apni Maa sy Jany ki ijazat lay raha tha Maa ne ansu bhari ankhon se uski tarf dekha Or kanpti hui awaz main kaha Ja beta Khuda teri hifazat kry Uski behan ai or Uski kaamyabi k lye DUA ki phir wo Apne bap ki tarf Mura Bap pareshan tha Us ne Mohabbat se Us k sar pe Hath phera aur Usay galay lgaya.Aur socha.. Janey kb wapsi ho? Main zinda bhe hon ga ya nahe… aur Wo apni gari mein CNG bharwaney chala gaya..!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/REdZuV

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 33

Sir:” Samajh tujhe 10 laddu diye.. Student:” Mujhe.. ??? . Sir:” Samajh na tere baap ka kya jata hai… . Usme se 5 laddu maine leliye to tere pass kitne bache..?? . Student:” 20 Sir:” Kaise.. ?? Student:” Samajh na tere baap ka kya jaata hai…



YENNA RASCALLA… I AM BACK WITH MY LATEST COLLECTION..!! 1. When Rajnikant was a Student?!!! Teachers use to Bunk the classes…. 2. Rajnikant purchased a road roller? Guess why?????? To Iron his Clothes.. 3. Once a farmer replaces scare crow in the farm with Rajnikant?s statue And Birds returned grains they took last year as well…… 4. If Rajni works in BPO, clients would work in shifts.. 5. Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking – “Solve any 100 questions” He solved all 150 and wrote, ” Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!”…. 6. One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play….. 7. Tonight at 9 Rajani can be seen in the sky? as he is participating in the Asian Games? high jump event….. 8. Rajnikanth’s next project is the Titanic in Tamil. However, Rajni has twisted the climax.. Both the lead actors and the ship survive.. Rajni swims across the Atlantic Ocean with the heroine in one hand and… the Titanic in the other…. 9. ?Rajnikanth doesn?t breathe?air comes to hide in his lungs? 10. Once a photo of Rajnikant was given for Xerox. Don?t even try guess what happened? We got two copies of the Xerox machine…. One more: Once upon a time Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth Today that powder is known as ?AMBUJA CEMENT? Rajni is back with new hits Rajnikant can produce fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes.. Rajnikant runs until treadmil gets tired.. In the back cover of “WORLD RECORD its written..all records are held by rajnikant..listed names are second in place.. Rajnikant addeD facebook as his friend.. Once rajnikant was on hot seat in KBC…and computer needed to choose the questions. Rajnikant can whistle in 5 diff languages.. If rajni’s PC hangs..its time for next Windows release by microsoft…. CooooooL B-) HAve A RAjIni DAy….



Shubham : Kal raat ko party me maine 1 ladki ki izzatko bacchaya . . . Friend : Waah Bhai .!!! Par kaise .??? . . . – -Shubham : Self Control Bhai .. SELF CONTROL :p join this page for more : http://ift.tt/1kHvvtB



Dear Garmi, Himmat hai toh December mein aa na



A black baby is given a pair of wings by God, He smiles & asks wid innocence, “Dos dis mean Im an angel nw?” God laughd, “Nahi re kaalu, u r Batman now” ?



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1mICCSx

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 32

Murgi anda deti h, aur gaay dudh deti he, to aisa kon he jo dudh bhi deta he, aur anda bhi deta he? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dukandaar.ha ha ha ha ..



Horror Films Mein Ladki Ko Ghar Mein Jab kuch Ajeeb Sunai Deta Hai To Wo Kehti Hai:” Kaun Hai Wahan..??? . . . . . . . . Jaise ki Bhoot Bolega:” Haan Jaan Main kitchen Mein Hun….. . . Pakode tal raha hu.. khaogi kya.. ??:-P



GF Ka ANTiM SANSKAR Karne Ke Baad LadKa Jb Ghar Jane Laga Tbhi TUFAN Aaya, BiJLi KadKi, BADAL Garja. LadKa-Lagta Hai PAHUNCH Gayi..:)



Santa k Sar Se Khoon Nikal rha Tha Dctr=Ye kaise Hua? Santa=Mai Hatho Se Patthar Tod rha Tha,To kisi ne kaha”Paaji kabhi to Dimag Istemal karo”…?



Mandir k pujari ko loose motion ho gya.. medicine lene samay pujari ne dctr ko poocha. “ANY PRECAUTIONS? “Dctr said, “SHANKH zor se mat bajaana” .



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1oMikbE

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 31

* * Side Effects* * Once Santa brought some tablets and started cutting the edges. Do you know why? He wanted to avoid side effects!..



Aik larki shadi say pehle larka daikhne ja rahi thi jab us larka kay ghar kay darwaze per pounchi tou dua ki Rabba ya tey Saas changi hovey ya photo tangi hovey



KC Confession Page ”My strange love story…. I m in love with a boy who is far away from me…. I m in india and he is in uk. We met on a marriage website. Became friend on fb… Had long chats on whatsapp…. Proposed each other on skype… N now viber is there….. N today we 2 month of our relation…. I need ur blessings and good wish……” Admin – Now get married on Twitter and send hm ur kids through yahoo messenger or else u can buy your kids from flipkart=)) If you fed up of your kids later toh OLX pe bech de=)) =D



MaDAM-Boy se Kha h copy Kha h pen Boy=Jbse tume dekha h Kya copy or kya Pen Tere Mast-Mast 2 NaiN Mere dil ka legye chen Gayab h Copy or Kho Gaya PEN



Bhad Me Jaye Padhai Bahot Dard Hota Hai Jab Teacher Bolta Hai Kya Tumhaara Aur Tumhaare Aage Waale Ka Answer Ek Hai… . . . . . Tab Dil Se Aawaaz Aati Hai . . . Gawaar Saale Sawaal Bhi To Ek Hi Tha..:@ Agree Students ?



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1mtrMhz

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 30

Teacher:- Batao sacha desh bhagt kaun hota h. Sardar:- Jo enlish toilet seat par bhi Indian style me baithta ho. $M$



Sardarni wrote a msg. to sardar:- Ghar kab aa rahe ho. SmS. karke batao. Sardar sent msg. to her:- Nahi bata sakta SmS. free nahi h. $M$



. 1 Engineer mandir main bol raha tha.. Hey Bhagwan.. Teri Kirpa Teri Daya Teri Shradha Teri Aradhna Teri Bhakti Teri Archna Teri Pooja Teri Aarti Teri Maya Teri Geeta Teri Vidhya Teri Riddhi Teri Siddhi Teri Laxmi Teri Karuna Teri Meher Teri Leela Teri Mahima.. . . …..meri ek bhi nahi ???



Sardar_ Kya 50 saal ki aurat ko bachcha ho sakta hai? Wife_ Bahut mushkil hai. Sardar_ To apni Bhen ko samjha. Faltu may CONDOM ka kharcha karvati hai sali ! $M$



Reactions of Kissing in various Countries: America- kiss me hard France- kiss me slowly India- . . . . . . . . Jaldi karo koi aa jayega



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1mI49U8

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 29

Santa: Is mirror ki kya guarantee thai: Shopkeeper: Aap ise 100 floor se niche girao, ye mirror 99 floor tak nahin tutega Sardar: Wah!! Pack it.. $M$



Santa ko koi mobile pe tang karta tha Santa ne new sim card kharid kar tang karne wale ko sms kiya ?Mene wo sim band kar di hai, ab tu to kya tera baap bhi mujhe tang nahin kar sakta!” $M$



Sardar Hi Sardar: ?? 2 Sardar bank lootne gaye, Par gun bhool gaye? Phir bhi bank loot liya Kaise??? Bank Manager bhi sardar tha. Bola ?I trust you, gun kal dikha dena? $M$



It can happen only in Indian Movies Baghban:Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera?). They are said to be separated for six months, ie from March to September. Within that six-month period, they celebrate Valentine’s Day, which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September! u all may know that…………. Now for cricket fans……….to enhance their movie cricket rules…….. Lagaan: Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie. Amar Akbar Anthony :Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person. It can happen because that scene was very emotional………..??????? Pyar To Hona Hi Tha:Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl,little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside. No comment ……………Indian movies??????? Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi: Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America ?????? Well,! well, some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways…………….. International Khiladi + Domestic Flight = International Flight + Khiladiyon ka khiladi ra one : when sharukh khan dies, being a south indian he was given a christian funeral but later we see kareena kapoor uske asthiyo ko paani me baha deti hai, this was a big mistake no one noticed.. In Krish , Priety got pregnant when Hrithik was not with her in 2 years. dhoom 2. . abhishek bachan jumps off the cliff. . straight on the shoulders of hrithik on a parachute .”" N last one is an epic “Sholay” where (now) jaya bachchan lights a lantern in the beginning as there is no electricity in the village.. and Dharmendra is on a water tank to commit suicide. Paani ki tanki me bina electriicity ke paani upar chadta kaise hai??



Sardar was driving 2 LONAVALA wid Girlfrnd While driving, he kept his hand on her hand. She smiled & blushingly said, U can go further!! Sardar went 2 Pune. $M$



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1pzGqWX

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 28

Jab Rote h to koi haal tak nhi Puchta E- Doston…. Thoda sa Muskura kya le To GHAR wale kahte h.. Kiska MSG aya h.?..?..?* Uff itna Shakk….



Mind Blowing…. Husband BV se: Pani pila do.. BV: Kya pyaas lagi hai? Hsband (Ghusse se): ?Nahi? Gala check karna hai kahin se ?LEAK? to nahi ho raha he..



Agar question paper tuff lage ya samajh me na aye to ek gehri saans lo aur zor se chillao kamino fail hi karna he to exam kyo lete ho…!?



Postman :- Oye Paapey ! Pata hai muje ye packet deliver karne k liye 5 meel chalna pada. Sardarji :- Kyun? Aap courier kar dete…….. $M$



Sardarni: Lo, light chali gayi Sardar: Light chali gayi to kya, fan chalu kar Sardarni: Lo, ki na wahi sardaron-waali baat, Agar fan chalu kiya to mombatti bhuj nahin jayegi ? $M$



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1k2rBge

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 27

Ek pagal khat likh raha tha Dr. ne pucha kisko likh rahe ho? pagal- khud ko. Dr- kya likha? Pagal- mujhe kya pata, mujhe mila thodi na hai



At the time of delivry wife- god lakda ho husband- god ladki ho God- Shut up! confuse mat karo warna aisa item nikalungi ki tu dono rowonge or woh tali bajaega



CRIME STORY 5 Friends 1 kamre me rahte the unke nam the: PAGAL, KISKO, ULLU, DIMAG, KISI One day KISI ne KISKO ko mar dala us time DIMAG bathroom me tha PAGAL police station gaya Kya ye police station hai? Police: ha, kya bat hai PAGAL: KISI ne KISKO mar dala. Police: kya tum pagal ho PAGAL: han mai hun Police: kya dimag nahi hai PAGAL: DIMAG to bathroom me tha Police: tum ullu ho ! PAGAL: nahi ULLU ko to pata hi nahi wo msg pad rha hai.



what do generaly boys do in examination hall..? 1. they count the number of girls sitting around them 2. scratch their heads 3. look how short the grl’s dress is. 4. look each other for just a single mark answer. after xms.. 1. one says, yaar chemistry he tha na? 2. other replies, nae yar i think it was phys 3. then 1st one says, the grl sitting besides me was really bomb yaar 4. yeah, i saw her she was realy hot, bt y she was using a calculator??



Girl-why do U Love a Rose dt dies in a day, bt Not Me who dies 4U Everyday..? Marathi Santa- . . Bappa Bappa Evhda English kava shikli Va tu!!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1pzmS4R

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 26

Guy 1: whats the time? Guy 2: Its time for you to get a watch!!!



munna bhai- circuit, ye ford jaya hai? circuit- bhai, gaadi hai munna bhai- toh oxford kya hai? circuit- bhai dkho, ox mane, bel or ford mane gaadi= BELGADI



master- kanjoos bole toh kaun? student- usko kitne bhe sms karo uska reply nae ata master- uska ek example do student- apki beti



Baap- Tipu sultan kaun tha Beta- pta nae Baap- school jao toh pata lage na! Beta- ramesh unce kaun hai Baap- pata nae Beta- ghar par raho toh pata chale na!!



Mareez nurse se- pani pilao Nurse- oh! pyaas lag rahi hai Mareez- (gussay se)nhi check kar raha hun gala leak tok nahi ho raha hai!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1plcIYt

via IFTTT

Sex Jokes for Whatsapp 25

k Pahalwaan 6 feetLamba orstrong,bus me ja rha tha Conductor-Bhai sahab Ticket Pahalwaan- ham Ticketnahi liya krte Conductor Ghabra gaya par kuch kar na saka, par vo ye baatdil pe le gaya or gym join kr liya Daily wo pahalwaan se puchta or pahalwaan bolta ham ticketnhilete Aise 6 months nikal gye Ab conductor bhi tagda ho gya Agle Din conductor-Bhai ticket lele Pahalwaan-Hum ticketnhilete Conductor- shakti dikhate hue “Q nhi lete?” Pahalwaan- Pass banwa rkha haiisliye nhi lete



Father: What did you learnt at school? Kid: Give and take. Father: Good. Kid: Yes, I gave Jacka punch and took his lunch.



1. Result agar acha ho: Teacher- Hoshiyarbachahai Maa-Bhagwan ki kripa hai Papa-Beta kiska hai DOST-Chal daaru peetey hai 2. Love me fail hone pr Maa-Beta bhul ja usko Papa- Be a Man! DOST-CHAL DAARU peetey Hai YAAR 3. Result agar bura ho: Teacher-Padhai mein dhyan nhi kya Maa-Aag lage is mobile mein Papa-Laad pyar ne bigaaddiya Dost-Chal daaru peetey hai B’day par Maa-Jug jug jiye mera beta Papa-Hamesha aage bade DOST-Chal daaru peetey hain MORAL OF THE STORY- DOST KABHI NAHI BADALTE



Murphy’s Funny laws: 1) Law of Queue:Ifyou change queues,the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. 2) Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone. 3) Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose willbeginto itch. 4) Law of the Workshop:Anytool,when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 6) Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings. 7) Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you knowincreaseswhen you are with someone you don’twant tobe seen with. 8) Law of the Result:When you trytoproveto someone that a machine won’t work, it will. 9) Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 10) Theatre Rule: People with the seats at the furthest from the screen arrive last. 11) Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do somethingwhich will last until the coffee is cold. 12) Law of Proposal: Afteru accept a proposalyou will get a betterone. Hahahahaha



HEADLINES IN 2050 1. Rajnikant in ‘DHOOM-22′ 2. ‘GOLMAAL-15′ ready for Release 3. I will play the next ‘World Cup’ – Sachin 4. Shahid, Saif attended “Kareena’s 8th Wedding” 5. Petrol – 984 Rs/Litre 6. Shahrukh Khan’s Daughter becomes a Heroine with Amitabh Bachchan in a Luv-Story tittled ‘Chini Khatam’ 7. CID completed 10,00,000 TV episodes 8. Nokia launched phone with facilities like…20 SIM Card, 500 GB InBuilt Memory, Camera, Music & Video Player, Bluetooth, WiFi, 5G, GPS… TV, Fridge & Washing Machine (all in Phone)!



Previous

from whatsappjokes.im http://ift.tt/1nDv8Bv

via IFTTT