Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 34

Arz kiya hai.. . . . . Ruthi hai wo iss tarah jaise hum sach me unhe mana lenge…:’( . . . . . itna waqt kaun zaya kare itne me hm dusri pata lenge:P =D thoko Taali



Jab ek train me khubsurat ldkia jaraheho to us train ko kya bolte hey? . . . . . . . .ans:MAL BAHI TRAIN.



Santa apne dost k ghr se apne ghar janelaga to bahar barish ho rahi thi . . Dost: aj mere pas hi rok jao barish bohattez he Santa : ok . . Dost ne bistar lagaya or dkha to santa ghayab tha. 1 ghante bad santa bheegta hua aya or kehne laga. . . ‘Yaara me ghr walo ko btane gaya tha k aj barish ki waja se me ghr nhi a sakunga’



Girl:- Tuj me Rab Dikhata hai yaara main kya karu??? . Me:- Darshan Kar, Matha Take, Ashirwad le, Prasad kha, aur nikal Piche aur Bhi Bhakt Khade hai Line me…….



BOY: Mujhse shaadi karogi.. GIRL: Kyaaa?? BOY: Achhi film hai Naa.. GIRL: Kutte K Bachhe.. BOY: Wat?? GIRL: Kitne cute hote hai na



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 33

Wife:What Will You Give Me If I Successfully Climb & Reach The Top Of The Great Mt.Everest.. Husband:A Gentle Push..



Log kehte hai ki 40,000/- ka royal paint lagaye to ghar rangeen dikhta he. Are pagal 400/- ki ROYAL STAG piyo, sara shehar rangeen dikhega



filmon se ladkon ko kya sikhna chahiye ?? Jannat Murder Gangster Awarapan Fanna Titanic . Jo jitni mast ladki k chakar mein pada utni hi buri mout mara..



6 flowers 4 u- 1 for health, 1 for wealth, 1 for happiness, 1 for frendshp, aur baki 2 aise he kaan pe laga lena.Ache lagoge



Ek Baat Hamesha Yaad Rakhna. Duniya Mein Kuch Mile Na Mile. Do Cheezein Haq Se Leni Chahiye. Ek Samose Ke Sath Extra Chatni Aur Dusra Gol-Gappe Khane Ke Baad Uska Pani .



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 32

Can you tell me the name of person with bad habit of speaking loudly when others aresleeping so as to disturb their sleep? . . . . Ans: College Lecturer.



What is the height of Flirting? When your love letter starts with “TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN”.



Can a GIRL make u a MILLIONARE? Yes ! . . . . . . . . Conditions Apply: U must be a BILLIONARE !



Facts in d World Fact 1: You cannot touch all yourteeth with your toungue Fact 2: After reading the first fact, all fools try ii Fact 3: Fact1 is false Ha Ha Ha Ha.. Fact 4: Now u are laughing !!! bcoz u became a fool Fact 5: you want to fool ur friends also.. so forward this soon



Height of Courage- A Senior student during ragging says “on ur marriage Ill kiss ur wife” Junior: Ok fine im going 2 marry ur Sister..!



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 31

GOD: I can’t b evrywhere so I created MOTHER. DEVIL: I too can’t b evrywhere soI created GIRLS. GOD: Dont worry I hav created BOYS to change them to MOTHERS!



Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.



17century mom 2 her son beta apne religion k ladkise shadikrna 18cntry-apne caste k 19cntry-apne level k 20cntry-apne desh 21cntry-koi bi par ladki se karna:-D



Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eatingout, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes. 2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!



A man who surrenders when he’swrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he’s Right, is a Husband.



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 30

Teacher: where is everest? Student: I don kno.. Teacher: U Stand on the desk! Student: stil cannot see ma’am



Who do you think is the LAZIEST inventor of all times? It’s the guy who invented the SNOOZE in an alarm



Define Agony: A one armed man hanging at the edge of a cliff byhis only arm and with his butt poorly itchy. Define Death: He scratched it.



A husband made a call2hospital2enquire abt hs prgnent wife.Bt accidently d call wen2a cricket stadium.. He askd wat is d condition? He got atack aftr wat he heard.. “7 r already out..3 mor will b outhopfully by lunch. The 1st one wsa duck.”



A Psychology Report.. When 2 Couples come face to face..?? Wives look at each other’s SARIS & Husbands Look at each other’s WIFE..



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 29

A Girl’s “I will be Ready in 5 mints” . And . … . . A Boy’s “I will be back in 5 mint” . Are both equal..



One day, I Kicked lion’s face I puld tigers tail I broke cheetas leg I threw elphants then TOY SHOP OWNER kickd me out..!



Wife: Your friend is marrying a wrong girl, stop him. Husband: Why should I? Did he stop me?



Doctor: U Look Exactly LIke My Third Wife. Lady: How Many Wives Do You Have? Doc : Two..



An aeroplane asks a rocket: Howis that you can fly so fast? The rocket replies you will know the pain when they put fire at your ass!



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 28

Sir:Tens kitne tayp k hote hai? Boy: 3 ,present,past. future Sir: gud Exampl do Boy:kal apki beti ko dekha tha, Aaj pyar karta hu, kal bhaga k le jaunga. Djsumit



huda kare zindagi me ye mukam aaye……….. !!! khuda kare zindagi me ye mukam aaye……….. !!! tujhe add karneki dua karu aur …………… .!!!! friend request me nam tera aaye……….. ……..!!! Djsumit



Ankho mein nami thi aur bitamin c ki kami thi raat bhar jisse baat kiya woh gf nahi uski mammy thi



1 bhikhari ki lotry lag gyi to vo 1 mandir bnvata h. 2nd bikhari- yar tu mandir kyun bnva rha h? 1st bikhari- qki iske samne me akela bhik manguga.



Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 27

Face pe apke gajab ki smile hai, Suna hai apke paas ek pc hai aur usame ek sms ki file hai, Phir bhi FreshSMS pe sms nahi karte ye kaun sa style hai.



Happy Monkey Day Aapki Nazar Me Jo Sbse Acha Bander/bndari He To Use Ye Msg Bhejo Mene To Bhej Diya H Ab Muje Ye Msg Bhejkr Languro Wali Hrkat Mat Krna…



Na Jaane Ye Jhuti Duniya Kaha Jaa Rhi h, wA wA Na Jaane Ye Jhuti Duniya Kaha Jaa Rhi h, INSAN Khud “PAAD” K Kehta h Ye “BADBU” Kaha Se Aa Rahi hai..



Drinkers Movies Banate Toh- 1)Soda Akbar 2)Rab Ne Pila Di Thodi 3)Rum De Basanti 4)Hum Tight Ho Chuke Sanam 5)Beer Zaara 6)Bewde Zameen Par.



Karoon to kis liye aakhir karoon malal us ka, usey nahin to mujheybhi nahin khayal us ka, Meri wafa ne banaya hai bewafa us ko, Kisi ada par nahin haikamal us ka, Mere naseeb ki yeh bhi to khush naseebi hai, Ke mujh ko dekh ke sab pochte hain hal us ka, Yehi doa main karon har baras ke pehley din, Mere bagher na guzre koi bhi saal us ka, Mere khwab ko us kenaseeb main likh dey, KHUDA-E-PAK mujhey soonp de zawaal us ka.. Djsumit



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 26

Dil CHAHTA he AAP Ki D0STI Me DUB Jau, . . . ___\(‘,’)/____ -_ -_ -_ -_ -_ – - – - – - 0ye MUJHE Bahar NIKAL0, aapki dosti To bahut gehri hai…, is msg ko 500 Like dilani hai plz Like this msg



Paper ka size ho toh A3 Serial ho toh D3 Brand ho toh G3 But u cant bcome ENGINEER unless u clear M3



Pappu English Exam Me Fail Ho Gaya Translation Ki Wajah Se…. . 1.me Ek Aam Admi Hu … -I Am A Mango Man . 2.mujhe English Ati He -English Comes To Me . 3.me Haripur Hazara Se Hu -I Belong To Green Pur Thousanda . 4.sadak Par Goliyan Chal Rahi He -Tablets Are Walking On The Road…:)°. . Hahaha Ab Pta Chla Sala Papu Pas Kyu Ni Hota..♥ Djsumit



Paste blank Status on Facebook For single line Blank Status Copy below codes into your status @[0:0: ] Note:- the text is like @[0:0:space] Dont write space where ihave writen space rather press spacebar. For MultiLine Blank Status : Paste as shown below inyour staus. @[0:0: ] @[0:0: ] @[0:0: ] @[0:0: ] Note there is space after 0:



New Facebook Smiley Codes for Chat Code For Facebook Smileys [[f9.laugh]] [[f9.sad]] [[f9.angry]] [[f9.sleepy]] [[f9.shock]] [[f9.kiss]] [[f9.inlove]] [[f9.pizza]] [[f9.coffee]] [[f9.rain]][[f9.bomb]] [[f9.sun]] [[f9.heart]] [[f9.heartbreak ]] [[f9.doctor]] [[f9.ghost]] [[f9.brb]] [[f9.wine]] [[f9.gift]] [[f9.adore]] [[f9.angel]] [[f9.baloons]] [[f9.bowl]] [[f9.cake]] [[f9.callme]] [[f9.clap]] [[f9.confused]] [[f9.curllip]] [[f9.devilface] ] [[f9.lying]]



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 25

Banta: Ek white colour ka cöndöm dena.nonveg sms in hindi, santa banta nonveg sms Shopkeeper: White hi kyun? Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.



Santa: Tu Office Me Sher Bankar Ghumta H,very funny hindi sms, jokes Ghar Pe Tujhe Kya Ho Jata H? Banta: Ghar pe bhi Sher Hi Hu, Bas Upar ‘Durga Ma’ Sawaar Ho Jati H.



Santa in Lift..very funny hindi sms Girl : mehnga perfume laga k lift me ayi, or SANTA ko akad k boli Cobra perfume, Rs.6000.. 2nd girl ayi : Jasmeen perfume”Rs.7000 .. achanak lift ruk gayi or khuch smell aayi dono ladkiyon ne apna naak pakda Or SANTA ko dekhne Lagi.. SANTA with smile:- “Muli”14 Rupey Kilo….. Santa Madhosh \m/ ladkia Behosh



Ek bili ne monky ko i love u bola monky ne kaha tum ne mujme kya dekha bili hanuman ka photo dekhte huve tuj me rab dikhta hai yaara me kya karu



Pappu makes a call from Delhi 2 his wife . Servant picked up d phone. Pappu : Memsab se baat karao ! Servant: Woh to sahab k sath kamre me so … rahi hai. … Pappu : Par sahab to main hu. servant: Ab main kya karu? Pappu: Maar de dono ko, main hold karta hu.. After killing…. servant: Dead body ka kya karu ? Pappu: Ghar k piche swimming pool mein phenk kr bhaag ja. Servant: Par ghar k piche to swimming pool hai hi nahi. . Pappu: Oh sorry, wrong number..:-O:P :



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 24

TEACHER: Which Book has helped U Most in ur Life? . . . . . STUDENT: My Father’s Cheque Book . . Har jagah Pay FACEBOOK nai chalta!! style machine



Boy-Jaan Tu badal Gyi GiRL-Kese Boy-Ab Jab Kiss Krta Hu To Tum eyes close Nhi Krti Girl-Saale Pichli Bar Close Ki Thi To Purse Se 500Rs Gayab Th



jeevan ke kathin rasto pe kaun apna sath dega? Mummy/papa…? mummy?papa….? Nahi Wife….? Nahi Girlfriend bilkul bhi nahi Sirf aur Sirf . . . . . . Apni “CHAPPAL”



1 bache ne shivji se cycle mangi Usse cycle nhi mili usne mandir se ganeshji ki murti churai or 1 letter likha Aagr bacha wapis chahie to cycle le aana



Mausam ko Dekho kitna haseen hai,hindi sms Thandi Hawaye or Bheegi Zameen hai, Yaad Aa Rahi hai Unki kuch Bate, Wo bhi Yad kar rahe honge Itna Yakeen hai.



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 23

guys read at your own risk : your girlfriend is : smart intelligent sweet tellented educated romantic and inshort she is ur “sister” hahahaahaaha style machine



height of badluck : a boy nd girl meet gor the last time for their breakup girl’s DAD caught them now they are a married couple bechara ladka style machine



teacher : you stupid! at your age einstien ranked first in class what about u? student : sir at your age hittler commited sucide what about u ? style machine



Iz Ur Life Boring ?? . . . Den Type I Love Ur Lover’s Name & Send It To All Ur Relatives .. . . . Qasam Se Hungama Much Jayega Life Main. style machine



True Fact;- After 100 years from now, Facebook will have :- . . . . . . . . … . 500 million accounts of DEAD people ! style machine



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 22

Q. why is sea water so salty Ans. bcoz rajnikanth pees in it..hhahaaa style machine



dil jisko diya vo dilli chali gyi jisko pyar kiya vo ittly chali gyi dil ne bola khudkhushi kar le swith me haath dala to kambakht bijli chali gyi style machine



Aawargi Mein Kabhi Deewane Mat Banna Sab Kuch Jaanker Bhi Anjaanemat Banna Saath Chodd De Bhale Saari Duniya Per Apno Se Kabhi Begane Matbanna



strong bonding dosen’t need daily sms & call , as care nd affection lives in heart . . . . . … … … bakwas hai sab ab roz msg aa jana chahiye warna “KATTI”



At bus stop a boy to a girl : 99.99% ladkiya jis question ka answer nhi bata payi kya bata poagi girl : 100% bata paungi boy : tumhara phone number kya hai style machine



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 21

Baap : Sharab, Cigarette, Ladkiyan Ye Sab Tumhari Jaan k Dushman Hain.. . , , , . pappu : Jo Shakhs Apne Dushmano Se Dur Bhaage . Wo Mard Nahi Hota papa :p thoko LiKE*** for pappu



Universal Truth:- Aap Kitne Bhi Badey Angrez Ban jaye Lekin, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hindi / Punjabi Me “Galiyan” Dene Ka Maza Hi Kuch Alag Hota hai…:D =D agree ?? Thoko Like***



3 words that can totally change ur mood: I LOVE YOU I HATE YOU & The best 1.. . . . . . FACEBOOK LOGIN ERROR :O Seriously Aag lag jaati hai Like if you agr



10 doctorz aur 1 engineer Helicopter Ki Rassi Se Latke Hue The….. . . . . . . . . Pilot Ne Kaha Load Zyada Hai 1 Aadmi Ko Chorna Hoga….!!…. . . . . . . . engineer Ne Kaha Apni jaan Ki Qurbani Mai Deta Hoon…… . . . . . . Taaliyan…. . . . . . . . . Ye Sun Kar Sab doctorz Taaliyan BajaneLage, Aur sabke sab Neechey Gir Gaye… Ustad to akhirr Ustad hota hai na….!!



bus stop par boy to girl : boy : sandal to bohot achi pehni hai girl : kyu utar ke dikhau boy : le sandal se mast to top pehna hai haahhhaahahaah girl shocked boy rocked style machine



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 20

Purana loha becho. Teen dabba becho. Tute fute saman becho. Plastic ke dibbe becho. Raddi akhbar becho. Un paiso se balance dalva k sms bhejo.



Sholay Film Mein Sabse Badi Tragedy Kya Thhi? . . . . . . . . Answer: “Pehle To Gabbar Ne Thakkur Ki Biwi Maar Di Aur Phir Bechhare Ke Haath Bhi Kaat Diye.” xD xP



Sir- Kaunsa Panchhi sabse Tez udta hai? Boy- Hathi Sir- Nalayak, Tera baap kya karta hai?. . . . . . . . . . .. Boy- Chhota Rajan ke gang me shooter hai !! Sir- Shabash, Hathi sahi jawab hai:) !:D



Arz Hai..! Usne Chupke Se Meri grlfrn ka Numbr Nikal Lia Ae Dost.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Aur Ab Wo Apni hi Bhen ko Msg Kr Ke Khush Hota Hai har roz..;-) :p



Dear Girls . . . . . . . . Talking Always In English D0es n0t Make U Hollyw00d Her0in.:P =D



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 19

Agar Jackie Chan ki Mother-in-law kidnap ho jaye to use kaun vapas layega? . Guess? . . . . . . . . . Vicks VapouRub…! Kyunki Vicks lautaye Chan ki Saas.



Ek Chinese aur Indian Train me safar kr rhe the. Tabhi ek machchhar chinese k samne aa gya tab chinese ne use mara aur kha gaya. Fir ek dusra machchhar Indian k paas aaya tab Indian ne use pakda aur chinese se bola Kharidoge kya?



1st girl – Muje to shaadi k liye aisa ladka chaihiye jo charsi Saraabi juaari Randibaj ho. 2nd Girl – chal chinal najar na laga SMS padhnewala sirf mera hai. Created by Ajeet I dedicate this 2 my faltu frends



Sylabus- 8OGBwe study- 8OMB Retains in mind-8OKB Write in exm-8O byts Result coms in binary dights i.e. OO O1 1O 11 Stdnts Rock teachers Shock.. Cr. Ajeet



Mene apko fon kiya.To mobile ka network bola-murkho ki duniya me apka swagat h.Aapjis bewkuf se sampark krna chahte h.Uska dimag kavrege area se bahar h.Kripya thodi der bad call kren cr.ajeet



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 18

Zindagi me jab b kabhi kadam ladkhdaye or aap gir b jao to darna mat. Himmat or hosle se apne aap ko khda karke awaz dena waiter!!Ek pag aur…



Jis Din Unse DIL Laga Baithe Tanhai Me Sukun Ki Maa Chuda Baithe, Wo To Kho Gayi Behenchod Kisi Aur Ke Khawabo Me Aur Hum Apni Hi Jhanto Me Aag Laga Baithe..



Jo student top kre, wo . . . . . . . “Student Of The Year” . aur jo student fail ho jaye wo . . . . . . . . . . . . . “Student Of The Next Year”:p . Think hatke- jiyo datke…



Got it… Mil gaya kamina.. . . “HENRY FISHEL-THE AMERICAN” was the first to invent THE EXAMS….:-l Forward to all students. Sale ne jindagi narak bana di!



1 Topi bechne wala ped k niche araam kr raha tha. Kuch Bandar uski topiya utha kr le gaye. Topi wale ko apne Dada ki sunai kahani yaad aayi Or usne apni 1 topi utha k fek di. 1 Bandar aaya, Usne topi ko uthaya or 1 THAPPAD maar k bola- “Sale tu kya sochta h Hamara Dada hame kahani nhi suna k gaya”



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 17

Chintu ne bled se grlfrnd ka naam apne haath par likha Aur 5min baad jor jor se rone laga, Uska dost: Q ro rahe ho? Chintu:Abey,purani wali ka likh dia.



Boy:- I Love U. Girl:- Tumne Mujhme Aisa Kya Dekha Ki Mujhe Propose Kar Diya..? Boy:- Sab Kuch Dekhne Ke Liye Hi Toh Propose Kiya Hai Pagli.



“Aaj Ka Vichaar” Ladke Agar Ameer Ban Jaye To Wo Bigad Jate Hai, Aur . Agar Ladkiya Bigad Jaye To Wo Ameer Ban Jati Hai. Kyo Sahi Hai Na…..?



Ek sardar ki bahan ko daaku utha le gayd, . Logon ne kaha daaku khatarnak hain khali hath mat jana, . Fir kya tha, . Sardar, . Do kilo aam le gaya.



TEACHER: which book has helped u most in ur life??? STUDENT: my father’s Cheque book.. Har Jaga FACEBOOK Nahi Chalta FACEBOOK ke Keedo



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 16

Girl: aj mere dad ne mjhe tumhare Sath bike pe jate huay dekh lia.. Boy: oohh!! kya bole wo ?? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Girl: Bas wohi hua jis ka dar Tha. Bus ka kiraya wapis le lia.. Humari Family boht strict ha na.:D Djsumit



Boy: Proposed a Girl I Love U and Want To Marry U Girl:Bhai Hindi Me Bol Mujhe English Nahi Ati Boy:Kuch Nay Didi Bas Dua Kro Ki Patrol Sasta Ho Jaye…….



kabi na chuka sako wo lon h hum, hamesha bajti rahe wo tone h hum, ab to pahachan gaye na kon h hum? are sms ki duniya ke “DON” h hum.



Girl- Mujhe aise purpose kro Jaise aaj tak kisi ne na kiya ho. Boy- Kutti,Kamini,Za ­lil I Love You. Mujhse shadi kar k mujhe Tabah kr de Nagin, Ab to han kr de Chudel….



Santa BANK me aake so gaya_: . Puchho Q.? . . Qki.. . . Usne Board par advertise padhi, ki.. . Yaha SONE par LOAN milta Hai.



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 15

Girls Should Agree With This…..:P =D BoyFriend Jaisa Bhi Ho,, Awara Pagal Deewana Luchha Lafanga Kamina Lekin, Jab Uska Message Aata Hai To Chehre Pe Ajeeb Si Smile Aati He.:) Aur Ladki Ko Ehsaas Hota Hai Ke Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai.. ^_~ :



Exam main fail honay pay dad ne sirf itna kaha.. . . . . … . . . . . big boss chate hain ki aap apna cell phone aur laptop hame de…:



Que-ladkiya Apna Dupatta Ladke Ke Samne Aane Ke Baad Hi Kyon Theek Karti Hail…? Ans…%-} Lutere Ko Dekh Kar Hi Dault Ki Hifazat Ka Khayal Aata Hain.



Laila Se Pyar Krke Majnu Ki Kismat Jaag Gayi, Wah Wah Majnu Ne Itna Love Latter Post Kiya Ki, Laila ‘Postman’ Ke Sath Bhaag Gayi…



Teacher: khaali jagahbharo “900 choohe kha kar billi _____ chali” Student: 900 choohe kha kar billi dheere dheere chali Teacher: get out of my class!! Mazaak karte ho!! Student: Teacher, ye bhi Maine Aapka dil rakhne ko keh diya. Varna 900 choohe kha kar billi toh kya uska Baap bhi nahi chal sakta! Djsumit



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 14

Sardar park me baita tha Frnd:kya kar raha hai? Sardar:badla le raha hu. Frnd:kise? Sardar: waqt ne muje barbad kiya hai, ab me waqt barbad kar raha hai…



Khatarnaak Dosti:Main ghar der se pahuncha to Dad ne pucha “Kahan tha tu? “Maine kaha: “Friend k yahan tha. “Dad ne mere hi saamne mere 10 doston ko call kiya. 4 ne kaha: “Haan Uncle, Yahin par tha. “2 ne kaha: “Abhi Yaha se just nikla hai. “3 ne kaha: “Yahin hai Uncle, Padh raha hai, Phone du kya? “1 ne to hadd hi kar di, kaha: “Haan Papa bolo kya baat he. By – Yasirnazeer



Bahu : Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke ? . . . . . . Maaji : Are Kambakht tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!



Santa Apni Biwi Ke Saath So Raha Tha, Achanak Se Sote Sote Bola Santa: “ Bhiga Sa Lagta Hai Aalam Mujhe, Bhigi Si Lagti Hai Subah Mujhe, Bhiga Lag Raha Hai Sara Jahan Mujhe ” Preeto Ne Use Uthaya Aur Gusse Se Boli: “ Arey Utho Aapne BistarPar Peshaab Kar Diya Hai “



RAJNIKANT VS BAPU RAJNIKANT : ME EK 6alang ME CHAND PAR JA SAKTA HU AUR TUM KYA KAR SAKTE HO BAPU : AME AVA VANDRA VEDA NATHI KARTA



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Condom Jokes for Whatsapp 13

Apni Girl-friend Ke Sath Date Pe Ho, Par Chahte Ho Ki Khaane Peene Mein Faltu Ka Kharcha Na Ho To Us Se Puchho “ Kya Khaayegi Moti? ” Thodi Si Gaaliyan Milengi Par Kasam Se Paise Jaroor Bach Jayenge .



Sales-man Ne Santa Ka Darwaja Khatkataya Aur Puchha Sales-man: “ Ji, Cockroch Ke Liye Powder Loge Kya? ” Santa: “ Nahi, Hum Cockroch Ko Itna Laad-Pyar Nahi Karte, Aaj Powder Laga Denge To Kal Sala Deo Mangega “



Santa in Lift.. Girl : mehnga perfume laga k lift me ayi, or SANTA ko akad k boli Cobra perfume, Rs.6000.. 2nd girl ayi : Jasmeen perfume”Rs.7000 .. achanak lift ruk gayi or khuch smell aayi dono ladkiyon ne apna naak pakda Or SANTA ko dekhne Lagi.. SANTA with smile:- “Muli”14 Rupey Kilo….. Santa Madhosh \m/ ladkia Behosh



Malik nokar se: Machar kitna shor kar rahe hai. Tmne machar marne ki dawa nahi dali kya? Nokar- Dali hai malik, ye to unki biwiya ha jo ro rahi hai !!



Ek ladka apni gril frnd ko le kar ghumne jata hai, aur boht tez barish ho rahi hoti hai. Socho boht tez barish ladka ladki akele socho kya hota hai socho . . . . socho . . Nahi pata . . . . ladki ka makeup utar jata hai aur ladka dar ke bhaag jata hai.:



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1 Over Me Kitne Ball Feke Jate Hai Kya Ap Ne Kaha 6 ? Galat Jawab 1 Over Me 1 Hi Ball 6 Bar Feka Jata He Bade aye Criket ke shokeeeeeen



Santa Zebra Crossing Ke Black & White Lines Par Baar-Baar Idhar-Udhar Chal Raha Tha, Aur Soch Raha Tha Ki . . . . . . . . . . Sala Ye Piano Bajta Kyo Nahi.



Raaz Dil Ka Dil Mein Chupate Hai Woh……. Samne Aate Hi Nazar Jhukate Hai Woh……. Baat Karte Nahi, Ya Hoti Nahi…… Par Shukar Hai Jab Bhi Milte Hai Muskurate Hai Woh……!!



Jab Maine Zindagi Mein Pahli Baar Cigarette Pee, Main Apni Nazaron Mein Gir Gaya, Aur Mene Cigarette Chhodne Ka Faisla Kiya, Par Phir Achanak Se Dimag Mein, Un Tamaam Cigarette Factory Ke Majdoor, Aur Unke Biwi Bachhon Ke Baare Mein Socha, To Meri Aankhein Bhar Aayi Aur Dil Paseej Gaya, Aur Maine Usi Pal Faisla Kiya Ki AbSe Main Har Roj Cigarette Peeunga, Apne Liye To Sab Jeete Hai, Par Ham Gareebon Ke Liye Peete Hai .



100 Saal Ka Budda Marne Ke Baad Swarg Pahuncha Udhar Ki Ronak Aur Mast Apsaraon Ko Dekh Kar Man Hi Man Rote Hue Bola. Budda: “ Ye Sala Ramdev Baba Ke Chakkar Mein Na Pada Hota To Sahi Umar Mein Yahaan Aa Gaya Hota “



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DEDICATED TO ALL BOYS_ .. .. .. Ladke Pagal Ho Jaatey …Hain Pyar Me, Baki Kasar Puri Ho Jaati Hai Intezaar Me……. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Magar Ye Dard Ladkiya Nahi Samjhti, Wo Toh Panipuri Khati Firti Hain Bazaar Me.. . . Or LADKE Pade Rehte Hain BEER BAR Me…………. ­ .!!!! LIKE IF U AGREE……:



Wife- Q ji.. Jab mai moti ho jaungi Aap mujhe tabh bhi itna pyar karoge? Husband- Nahi.. Maine sukh dukhme sath dene ka wada kiya hai Mote-Patle me nahi.



Chota bachha-gorapan ke liye koi creem he kya, Dukandar he na, Chota bachha-to saale apne chehre pe gharta kyo nahi me hamesha dar jata hu.



Chandni raat thi Woh mera saath thi, Hathome hath thi Paome paa thi, Me uski upar thi Woh meri neche thi.. Itna, Romance mat ho mere dost Woh mera……… CYCLE thi.



Chor aya tijori pr likha tha todne ki Zrurt nhi Button dbao khul jayega button dbate hi police a gyi chor- Ma kasam insaniyat s vistas uth gaya;-(



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1 ladki rat me akeli or Ratt me itna sannata or 5 ldke uske piche, kya hoga? . . . . . . . . . Jaanne k liye dekhiye CID, Shukravar or Shanivar rat 10 bje sirf SONY par.



Ultimate serious…ekdum janleva msg——- Ladka:- Call Recieve kyu nhi kiya ?? Ladki:- vo me … . . . . . . vo me . . . . . . Me Ringtone pr Naach rhi thi…:



ek aadmi ko raste me chirag mila….. . . . usne use rgda… . . . boom… . . . boom,,… . . . blast hua aur wo mar gaya,…… . . . moral… ” kuch cheezain alladin ki nahi, osama bin laden ki bhi ho skti h….;



10 Doctorz Aur 1 Engineer Helicopter Ki Rassi Se Latke Hue The. . . . . . Pilot Ne Kaha Load Zyada Hai 1 Aadmi Ko Chorna Hoga….!!…. . . . . . Engineer Ne Kaha Apni Jaan Ki Qurbani Mai Deta Hoon. . . . . . Taaliyan. . . . . . Ye Sun Kar Sab Doctorz Taaliyan Bajanelage, Aur Sabke Sab Neechey Gir Gaye… Ustad To Akhirr Ustad Hota Hai Na….!!



Devdas ne daru k liye Paaro ko chhod diya, Ram ne Vachan k liye ghar chhod diya, aur aapne.. ……….. …… … …apne chillar bachaane ke liye sms karna chhod diya…..



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Sardar Par Jok mat Karna Aur…….. Sardar ko Joker mat samana…. Sory Yaar Dunia Bekar Bina Son Of Sardar hahahaha



Gabar:Are o Sambha Ye Kaun Se Log Hai Jo Sms Ka Jawab Nhi Dete Sambha:Sarkar Ye Wo Log Hai Jo Misscall Karne Ke Bad Bhi Balance Check Karte Hai “SO LITE HIS LIKE” *HIREN*



VERY HEART TOUCHING STORY . . . Kutte Ka Bacha Apni Maa Se..; Maa-Pitaji dikhne Me kaise the? Maa rote huye-Pata Nhi Beta Piche Se Aye The Piche Se Hi Chale gaye.



Hum aap ko SMS kar ke apni battery low kartay hain, Hum aap ko SMS kar kay apna bill barhwatay hain, Hum aap ko SMS karne kay liye apni ungliyon se itna type karwatay hain, Aur ek aap hain jo bina parhay hi hamaray SMS delete kiye jatay hain.



Marne ke bad hamare nasib me jannat ho na ho, Ye hava ye fiza ho na ho, Are dost zinda ho to *sms* bhejo, Kya pata hamari kabra pe coverage ho na ho�



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Dil ki dhadkan he ruk gyi…. . . . . . . . . . . . .jb light gyi or kaam wali bai boli…. . . . . . . . . . .wot d hell is dis . . . . .u dnt hv invortor…:p:p



Ek Clinic k aage lambi line thi, 1Aadmi bar-bar line me ghusta tha, par log usko pakar k piche phek dete the ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Admi:”Lage raho, Saalo clinic hi nahi kholunga”… :p:O



Ramlila se hanuman tha farar… Rol kiya ek sardar ne…. Sardar tha bada kamal… 6alang mar ke bola…. Jo bole so niha|… Sita darling chalo sasural….P:D



Wife Pati Ko Maar Rahi Thi Padosi-Kyu Mar Rahi Ho Patni-Inko Call Kiya To 1 Ladki Boli Aap Jise Samprk Krna Chahte Ho, Wo Abhi Vyast He By – $@Ga₹



Ek Din Santa Raste me Sandas Kar Raha tha…. Tab Achanak Waha par police aajati hai aur Santa ko pakad ke le ja raha tha…. Tab santa bola ki saab sabut to uthalo… Hahahahahahah.. Santa r0ck Police Sock



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2 snakes on FB chat: . snake1: fusss snake 2 : fusss . snake1: fusss fusss fusss snake2: fussss fusss fusss . snake1: fussss fusss fusss fussss fusss fusss fussss fusss fusss snake2: fussss fusss fusss fussss fusss fusss fussss fusss fusss . snake1 : Bhow bhow bhow…… Snake2: saale aa gaya na aukat pe, mujhe pata tha fake ID bnake aya hai :::::D



Teacher: What is ur name……?? . Student: NISAAR . Teacher: Batao ki tum kaise paida hue……?? . . . . . Nisaar: Jawani Janeman, Hasin Dilruba, Mile jo Dil jawa,NISAAR ho gaya..:P =D Teacher shocked – Student rocKed:D



Hum to yun hi Paani ko gaur se dekh rahe the yaaro. . . . . . Itne mein 1 machhli nikal kar boli. . Kaminey.. . . . Tere ghar me maa behan nahi hai kya.. ?? :O



Maut aur mohabbat to bas naam se badnam he…… . . . . . . . . . warna. . . . . . . .. takleef to sbse zada padhai hi deti he… :p students thoko like ***



2 Judwa Bachche… . . . 1st Hans ke Lot Pot ho raha tha… . . 2nd Udaas tha… . . Dad: Tum itna kyun Hans rahe ho… . . Son: Mummy ne itni thand mein… dono bar isi ko Nehla Diya.. haha :



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Teacher- Khoj wo he jo Prakriti me pehle se hoti he or Aviskar wo he jo prakriti me pehle se nhi hoti Use banaya jata he. Teacher to std.. ek example batao. Std..Teacher Pehle mere Papa ne Meri maa ki khoj ki Fir Dono Ne Milkar mera Aviskar kiya



A dirty Boy.- to girl Apne Haseen BooBs Ko Kisi PardE ME Chupa Liya Karo JAANU* ! ! !,,Ham xtra kaminey Log H, Nazron Se ChooS Liya Karte H*



‘Maine apni puri zindagi izzat ke sath guzari hai, Aaj tk kisi k aage Hath nahi failaaye’_ “Tango ki baat alag hai”;-) – Sunny Leone



Ek ladka pee ke ghar aaya aur ek book lekar padhne laga. Dad: pee ke aaya hai. Son: nahi to. Dad: kaminey phir suitcase kholke kya bak bak kar raha hai. Djsumit



Ladki Pe Style Maarne Ke Chakkar Mein Ek Ladka Bike Se Gir Gaya… . . . Ladki: Oh My God ! Aapko Kahin Chot To Nahi Aayi ?? . . . Ladka: Oh No Baby, Yeh To Meri Bike Se Utarne Ki Style Hai..:O :D



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santa ki wife ne sms kiya ki ghar kab aa rahe hoo?? zwab main santa ne sms kiya ki 20-25 min main….or zyada late hoo jaye toh sms fir se padh lena……



PATNI; ShRm”Nhi AaTi 2Sri LADY Ko Ghurr Rhe Ho Ab”TuM ShaDi ShuDa Ho PATI; ARe”AiSa KaHa LiKHa”H Ki UpWaS HoTO KhaNe Ka MeNu Nhi PaDHa Jata



Dost tere girlfrnd ka phone aya tha Keh rhi thi”Patthar se na maro mere deewane ko”.Mene pucha kyo?Wo boli Bomb ka zamana H”Uda do sale ko



3 kale dost ja rhe the. Raste me unhe ek pari mili, usne teeno ko 1-1 vardan offer kiya. 1st- muje dudh jitna gora bana do. 2nd- muje b utna hi gora bana do. Wo dono gore ho gaye.:) 3rd- he.he.he in saalo ko fir se kala bna do Teeno fir se kale ho gaye. [Moral-kuch dost kamine hi rehte hai]



Jhony jhony, YES PAPA. Z P Servise, NO PAPA. Lot of tension, YES PAPA. Family life, NO PAPA. BP-sugar, YES PAPA. ZAPA ZAPI, HA… HA…Ha…



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Srdar got new job: 1st day he spent 11 hours on computer: Boss was happy & asked what he did? Sardar replied: Keybord te ABC agy pichy lagi c, O sidi kiti ae.



Sardar: Yar Mere Bal Boht Gir Rahe Hain Frnd: Wo Kyun? Sardar: Fikr Se? Frnd: Konsi Fikr Hai Tume? Sardar: Bal Girne Ki Fikr Se:-)



SArdar In UK Hotel Khana Khane Gia Wo Murgi Khana Chahta Tha Lekin Murgi Ki English Bhol Gia Thy Askd Wht Do U Want SRdar G? SArdar Replid: Éggs” Mother



A Sardar Prays Daily For 2 Hours “Hey Vahey Guru Meri Lottery Lagade. After 11 Yrs Vaheguru Angrily Appears & Says -Oey Uloo De Pathay Ticket To Le Le.



Sardar Ki Maa Puttar Tujhay Yahan Se Jalindhar Janay Mein 1 Din Laga Aur Wapas Aanay Mein 3 Din Wo B Naye Car Se Srdar : Maa Ye Car Bananay Wale Bhi Pagal Hein Janay K Liay 4 Gear Or Aanay Ke Liay Sirf 1 (Revers) Gear.



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SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai. Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai, Dost: Garam pani Q? Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.



SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, “I AM GOING”? FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun. SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain….answer bata ke jaa..



Sardar climbed a tree. Monkey asked: “Too uper kyon aaya?” Sardar: “Apple Khane” Monkey: “Yeh to mango tree” Sardar: “Idiot, apple saath laaya hoon”



Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It’s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.



Sardar Apne Ghar Ka Darwaza Kandhe Pe Utha Kr Ja Raha Tha .. Kisi Ne Poocha Sardar g Kithy Ja Rhy Ho ??? Sardar g Ne Kaha: Tala Khulwane …



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Sardar reported for his university final examination, which consists of Yes/No type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches his and asks what is going on. Sardar replies, “I’m rechecking my answers and I don’t think I did very good.”



Sardarni to a doctor: Mera beta motorcycle se gir gaya Doctor: I can’t understand Hindi. Can you tell in English Sardarni: My londa gironda from Hero Honda



Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night. DR: take this tablet you will be ok. Sardar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.



Sardarji: Me E-Mail bnana hu. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha. Sardarji Friend : Tum “Akalmand_Sardar” try kro 100% mil jye ga.



Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha: Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai? Sardarni: Sardarji, sirf yehi apka bacha hai.



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Sardar was riding a bike… A police tried to stop him Police: “Stop! Stop!! Your bike doesn’t have headlight” Sardar: “It doesn’t have breaks too”



Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. Why? The report said, “DELIVERED”.



Sardar’s theory: The moon is more important than the sun, because the moon gives light at night when it is needed, but the sun gives light during day when it is available abundantly…



Sardar bought a lottery ticket for 10 Rs. Luckily Sardar won 10 crores for that. He went to the shop to collect the prize money. The owner cut the tax and gave him 7 crores. Sardar: Give me full 10 crores or give my 10 Rs. back



Sardar bought a new colour TV and put it in water. Why? He wanted to check whether colour goes or not!!



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Newton ki Gf: Aj me kesi lag rahi hu? Newton:Tan c/Sin c GF:-Wat? Newton:- Tan c/Sinc =(Sin c/Cos c)/Sin c =1/Cos c =Sec c GF-WOW! Naughty newty.. =Hi frndss… Djsumit



Sardar saying to his friend- yaar meina compeny ke computer ko jor jor se chalaya button dabaya to computer bolta he “what r u doing”. Meine computer ko na main switch se band ker diya or bhag gaya. Dusra Dost- kyon? Sardar yaar computer has a good mind wo Malik ko bata dega to…



Sardar Roz Subha 50 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain man- are waha Vo kaise? sardar- Maine Girls collage Bus ka Drive Hu na.



Sardar got a job in AIRTel custmr: Hello my AIRTEL sim loked what 2Do? Srd: y don take tention remove airtel sim put BSNL,thank u 4caling



Sardar: Oye.. Mera mobile bill kitna hai ? Call Centre Girl: Sir, just dial 123 to get your current bill status. Sardar: Abbey STUPID, current ka nahi mobile ka bill chaahiye !



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 165

Bhagvane Stirio Ne.. -Sundar Banavi -Saru Magaj Aapyu -Haran Jevi Aankho Aapi -Pyaar Thi Bharelu Dil Aapyu Ane Pa6i -Jibh Aapine Badha Par Pani Fervi Didhu.



Sardar saying to his friend- yaar meina compeny ke computer ko jor jor se chalaya button dabaya to computer bolta he “what r u doing”. Meine computer ko na main switch se band ker diya or bhag gaya. Dusra Dost- kyon? Sardar yaar computer has a good mind wo Malik ko bata dega to… dhan



Cute lines… Dont try hard to understand urself, just leave… Because a lovable heart ll do that job better than u. Djsumit



Santa Kangal Hone Par Biwi Se Bola-’Tum Bachcho Ko Nani Ke Yaha Bhej Do, Tum Apni Maa Ke Pass Chali Jao, Mera Kya H, Mai Sasural Chala JataHU. Djsumit



Life me jisko hota h gum,wo pita h RUM.Ankho me jiske ho tear,wo pita h BEAR.Jisko love lgta hrisky,wo pita h WHISKY. Toh… Pio WINE aur bindaasmaro LINE… Djsumit



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Maa Kaun Hai? Ye Maa Hi Hai Jo ApneBachcho Ko Subah Uthati Aur Kehti Hai Ki . . . Uth Jaao kanjaro… 11 Baj Rahe Hai….. Kutto Ki Tarah Pade Rhte Ho, Tumare Baap Ne 4-5 Naukar NahiRakhe Jo Tume Nashta Bana Kar Denge. Zindagi Haram Kar Rakhi Hai Kamino Ne, puri raat phn pe jis se laga rehta h,usi se nashta liyo jakar.:D Moral : Har ‘Maa’ Wale Msg Par Emotional Mat Hua Karo Thoko Like p Djsumit



School mein Master ji ne chote santa se poocha: Jisme koyi kami nahi usko kya kehte hai.? aur jawab aayi: . . . . . Kami- na



Maa Kaun Hai? Ye Maa Hi Hai Jo ApneBachcho Ko Subah Uthati Aur Kehti Hai Ki . . . Uth Jaao kanjaro… 11 Baj Rahe Hai….. Kutto Ki Tarah Pade Rhte Ho, Tumare Baap Ne 4-5 Naukar NahiRakhe Jo Tume Nashta Bana Kar Denge. Zindagi Haram Kar Rakhi Hai Kamino Ne, puri raat phn pe jis se laga rehta h,usi se nashta liyo jakar.:D Moral : Har ‘Maa’ Wale Msg Par Emotional Mat Hua Karo Thoko Like p Djsumit



Ek Aalu ne bhindi ko ” I Love U” ka messge kia…. Bhindi ne usy buhat bura bhala kaha aur boli Tum itny moty ho or me itni Smart Aalu ko ya sun ka buhatdukh hua…. Aalu ne us din ka baad itni sabziyan Phansai.. k k k Aj aap dekh saktay hen k Aalu-Ghobi, Aalu- Bengan, Aalu-Palak, Aalu-Matar, Aalu-Gajer, Aalu-Methi, or Bichari Bhindi us din se aaj tak akeli hy KHUMANSINH



Shivaji maharajanni pathavali toff, Wah Wah Shivaji maharajanni pathawali toff, Tula tyach kay karaych tu gapchup zop.



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 163

Boy to girl …. i can make u say I Love You …. Girl : no wayyy !! Boy : bet ?? Girl : yes … Boy : ok start … say blue ? Girl : blue Boy : say pink ? Girl : pink… Boy : say love ? Girl : love … Boy : whats 1+1 ? Girl : 2 Boy : ur age ? Girl : 18 Boy : hahaha… i tOld u i cud make u say 18!! Girl : no, u said u cud make me say I LOVE U Boy : yes i did !!!



Ek Ladki interview dene gai Boss : batao wo konsi cheez hai jis k 2 tyres hote hain…?? . Ladki : bike ! . Boss: nahi, hOnda bike chAlo ek aur sawal, Wo konsi cheez hai jis k 4 tyres hote hain…?? . Ladki : car ! . Boss : nhi, toyota car . . Ladki: Chal ub tu mere sawal ka jawab de.! :@ . Wo konsi cheez hai jo dikhne me white hai aur beech mai kaala anda hai…..?? . Boss : hehehe !! Ankh. . . Ladki : nahi Saale, teri MAA ki Ankh..



Santa : School male hai ki female….? Banta : Pata nahi yaar usme ghanta bhi hota hai aur periods bhi Bhaut confusing hai…



Father: Beta, facebook se hatke ek duniya hai. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Son: really papa? Zara link toh share Karo



Father: Beta, facebook se hatke ek duniya hai. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Son: really papa? Zara link toh share Karo



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Bhikhari To Manmohan Singh:- 1 Rupya De Do Baba Roti Khani Hai . . . Manmohan:-1000 Rs Dunga Pehle Ye Bata ki Hamari Sarkar K Hote Hue Sirf 1 Rupiye Me Roti de kaun raha hai….. ?? :



Budha Budhi Ki Kahani Read Must 1 budha aya saath me 1 budhiya ko laya Hotel me ja k waiter ko bulaya Dono ne apna-apna order mangaya Pehle budhe ne khaya budhiya ne pankha hilaya Fir budhiya ne khaya budhe ne pankha hilaya Ye dekh k Waiter sharmaya aur usne farmaya Aaye Laila Majnu k Maa Baap Tum dono me itna pyar hai to khana 1 sath kyu nahi khaya….?? Iss par budhe ne farmaya!!! Beta tera sawal to nek hai Par hamare pas Daanto ka set sirf ek hai



Ek aurat coma main chali gai . . . Pati murda samjh kr jalane chala …. Raste main arthi khambe se takrane se aurat ko hosh agaya… 1 saal bad aurat sach main mar gai . . . Sab log RAM RAM SATYA hai bolty ja rahe thy . Lekin . Pati ki zuban pe ek hi baat thi KHAMBA BACHA ke. .. KHAMBA BACHA ke



CHEMISTRY at Its Peak Teacher : What happens when CarbOn MOnOxide reacts with 2 MOlecules Of IrOn?? Student : COFFEE !! Teacher : HOW ?? Student : CO 2Fe = COFFEE!! Teacher Shocked Student Rocks !!



Kamina baccha Ladka Aur Ladki Dono Haath Mein Haath Daale Jaa Rahe They.. . . . Usi Waqt Ek Shararti Bachha Aaya Aur Bola: “Bhaiya, Kal Wali Didi Zyada Mast Thi…



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Santa BANK me aake so gaya_: . Puchho Q.? . . Qki.. . . Usne Board par advertise padhi, ki.. . Yaha SONE par LOAN milta Hai.



SMS KE RATES 1998 – Rs 5 2000 – Rs 3 2004 – Re 1.50 2006 – Re 1 2008- 50ps 2009 – 10ps 2010 – 1ps. Aap kab karoge? Jab SMS pe loan milega tab.? -



Chae wala:bholi si surat ankho me masti dur khadi sarmaye haye haye. ladki boli:kali si surat hat me ketly dur khadi chillaye chaye chaye.



Girl:Bas Karo Koi Dekh Lega Boy:Kuch Nahi Hoga Tum Sidhi Raho, Waha se Hath Hatao, Plz Thoda Karne Do Agar Nahi Dikhaya To Mai Faii Ho Jaunga…



Sardar- Shirt Sineke Liye 1 Acha Kapda Dikhaye… Salesman-Plain Main Dikhau ?. Sardar- Nahin Helicopter main Dikha… Saale bandar Ki Aulad, yahin Pe Dikha…



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Gaon k couple ek bar restaurant gaye.. Bf-Tum kya khaogi? Gf-jo Tum khaoge! Bf- Achcha… Waiter Menu lana.. Gf- (sarmaate hue) Mai b Menu khaungi.. – GulshanSms



Premika:- Aisa Khat koi Likh Sajna, Meri puri Umar Beet Jaye Pdhne Me… Premi: (!=0!> xE’?1!!:e’$ a?>#”e!%;>;>,e=$?#.P(p+>!$ Le Padh le. <|:) - GulshanSms



、Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge



doctor: ap k pati ko jayda rest ki jrurat hai ye lijiye sleeping tablets. wife: un ko ye kb dena hai doctor. doctor: ye un k liye nhi ap k liye hai.



1 Admi TRAIN me chadne laga ki akashvani aayi Isme mat chad ye pataree se utar jayegi. PLANE me chadne laga Awaj aayi- Ye crash ho jayega. BUS me chadne laga Awaj aayi, Ye khaai mai gir jayegi. Admi (gusse se)-Kaun hai be? Awaz-GOD. Admi- Shadi k waqt Tumhara gala baith gaya tha kya?



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 159

Shadi S h a d i S- setting band, H- himmat khatam, A- aazadi samapt, D- dimaag kharab, I- imtihaan shuru, Jinki ho gyi bhog lo Jinki nhi hui wo soch lo.



Koan ho Aap ? Q SMS krte rehte ho ? Kisne diya apko mera number ? Ab SMS nhi krna, . . . . Ok . . Maine Kabhi Aisa Kaha Hai? . Nhi na! . To SmS Kro na! _ GulshanSms



Auto me couple romance kr rehethe. Autowala dekh rhatha .aage jake auto polese takra gya.autowala ne sar patak k kaha SALA AB SAMZA”TITANIC kyun dubatha”. By-dev



Friend 2 santa Muje apni ring de do main ring ko dekh k tumhay yaad karuga snta: Tm ye soch k muje yaad kr lena k mene ring mangi thi or usne nhi di.



Koi apko Pagal Kahe To Dukhi Mat Hona Afsos Mat Karna Rona B Nhi Darna Bhi Mat Himmat Se Khade Ho Kar Puchna – - – - Tumhe kaise pata chala.



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 158

Bania market jata hai underwear purchase karne. Bania: Yeh kitne ka hai? Shopkeeper: Rs 500. Kanjoos Bania: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.



Customer: Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena. Shopkeper: Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai. Customer: Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de.



Sardar: Mere podho ko pani de ramu. Ramu: Sir barish gir rahi hai! Sardar: Bahana nahi chahiae, chata leke ja…



Postmaster: Bhai yeh postoffice hai. Ja ke policestation mein complaint likhao. Husband: Kya karun…, khushi ke mare kuch samaj hi nahi aa raha…



Beta: mummy kya love marriage karne se ghar wale naraz hote hai? Maa:Tu yakenan kisi chudail ke chakar main hoga or ye sub tujhe usi daayan ne kaha hoga. Ladkiya to bus ladkon ko phansaane main he lagi rehti hai. Jahan Acha Ladka dekha shuru hogaien.Beta in se bach k rehna. Ye bohat makkar or KAMEENI hoti hain. Inka to khandan bhi… Beta: aisa kuch nahi hai, woh to Daddy bata rahey thay k Aap Dono ki Love Marriage thi



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 157

One day James Bond goes to buy a pan. The pan walla asks him 4 Rs. for the pan but James Bond gives him only 1.5 rs. When paan waala asks him for the rest of the money, Bond replies…?? Dhai(2.5) another day!



Ek aadmi ne ek gawar naukar rakh liya aur usse samjhaya ki kissi ke naam lene se pahle JEE laga diya kare. Thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola… “Sahebji, sahebji kutte’ji’ ne murgi’ji’ ko pakar liya hai”



Bania’s son: Daddy meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do. Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai? Son: Suraj Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu.



Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hai. 10% interest ke hisab se woh 1 saal baad loan vapis karte hai. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge? Bania’s son: Kuch bhi nahi. Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante. Banis’s son: Main toh maths janta hoon, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.



**WARNING** THIS IS NOT TRUE IN CASE OF EVERY SAALI. AND DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!! Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi Saali is Pataka, Wife is BATAKA Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool Saali is Tooti – Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi Saali is Fresh cake , Wife is earth QUAKE *Ek Dukhi Paati.*



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 156

Train mai aik husband apni wife say: tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!…



Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si, Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi, Bartan Lelo Bartan……



Maa apne bete se kehti: Beta so ja warna gabbar aa jayega. Beta apni maa se kehta: Maa mujhe Chocolate do varna papa se keh dunga ke mere sone ke bad roz gabbar aata hai.



Patni: Suno ji mere saath tumhare dus saal kaise beete? Pati: Ek second ki tarah. Patni: Agar main tumse 10000 rs mangu toh kaisa lagega? Pati: Chavnni ki tarah. Patni: Jara 10000 rs dena toh Pati: Abhi deta hu ek second mein



Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aja moray balma tera intezar hai. Girl of 2012 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai.



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 155

cycle wale ne 1 Aadmi ko takkar mar di. Aur bola – Aap bahut lucky ho Aadmi – kaise Cycle wala – Aaj meri chutti hai NAHI TO MAI TRUCK CHALATA HU



Husband wife ko English sikha raha tha. Wife dopehar me husband se: dinner lo Ji. . Husband Jahil ye dinner nahi lunch hai. . Wife: Jahil tu, Tera baap, Tera Sara khandan, ye raat ka bacha hua khana hai.=))



8 yrs boy Ladka – “1 bidi ka bundle dena.” Dukandar – “Kya re iss Umar me hi Bidi pine laga.” . . . . . . . Boy – “Nahi Be Dhakkan , Ye mere Chote Bhai ke liye hai Mujhe 1 Packet “GOLD FLAKE” dedo.”



If a girl gets 90% mark her response- “Kamina 2 marks aur deta to uska kya jata” . . . . . . . If a boy gets 35% marks he says “Check karne wala khuda tha yaar”. =D



Girlfriend : Would You Like To See Magic..?? . Boyfriend : Ofcourse sweetheart..!! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Girlfriend : “WHOOSHH” You Are Single Now..!! Chal Bye, Phut Le Ab..!!



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 154

Tcher- Aaj short skirt Q Pahan K Aayi ho Girl- Sir Aaj Half Day H Na Isliye, Full Day Par Full dress Pahnti Hu All boys- Sirrrrrrrr,,, Holiday ko class lo na!



1 ladka gadhe k samne gir gaya. 1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha,”Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho?” Ladka bola,”JI BHABHI JI!”



EXAM ANTHEM: Hm Honge sbme pas Hm Honge sbme pas Hm Honge sbme pas..Ek Din, OO HO HO Sote hai BINDASS Likhte hai BAKWASS Fir B hai VISHWASS Marks milenge JHAKAS……… ­­Ek DIN……..



Arranged Marriage.. Rs.6,00,000 Shadi Rs.4,00,000 jewellry Rs.50,000 Shadi ki Rasme total Rs.10,50,000 . . . Love Marriage Rs.100 ka Stamp paper Rs.20 Notary Rs.50 ki Varmaala Rs.20 ka Photo Total Rs.190 Paisa apka Pasand apki Faisla apka jago grahak jago lover k sath bhago



Maine To Bus Stop Pe Khadi Ladki Se Sirf Time Poocha Tha, Ae Doston.. . Ki Kitne Baje..?? . . . . . Wo To Sharma Ke Boli : . Park Me Theek Subah 9 Baje..!! :O . /(‘,’)/ . ( ) . // Hat Jaao Yaar Apni To Lottery Hi Lag Gayi..!! . . “Mummy Zara Jaldi Utha Dena Subah..”



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 153

GALIB NE BHARI MEHFIL MI SHER MARA , GALIB NE BHARI MEHFIL MI SHER MARA FIR KYA HUA? HONA KYA THA SHERNI VIDWA HO GAI



Super Bezti=D Larki: mera bag 2500,sandal 2200 aur suit 3000 ka hai. . . . . . . . Larka: bss karo, pahlay apnay sir par dupatta sahi kar lo 5 rupay wali HAIR band nazar aarahi hai.:p



Santa loan lene k liye bank gya. Bank k ek postar par likha tha ki ” Hamre yaha Sone par loan Milta hai ” santa bank me so gya . Gard ne santa ko uthaya or bola bank me kyu so rahe ho ? Santa: loan k liye.



1st woman-kuchh suna ya nahi bharat ne hindustan par hamlakardiya hai 2nd woman- hame dar hai ki kahin ek missile mere pe nagir jaye 3rd woman-arre tumsab fikra kyon kartihohum india me rahte hai.



Munna Bhai Ke ghar LADKI hUE. Circuit- Bhai ab to muhale ke, Sare ladke isko line marenge. MUNNA- Tu fikar mat kar re, Apun iska naam DIDI rakhenge.



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 152

Romantic story….Read Must.. Boy:- Hey ? Girl:- Yeah…How are you? Boy:- I am fine. Can you make My Biggest dream come true? You are the only one Who can do so… Girl:- Sure..what’s your dream. .??? Boy:- I just want your one signature darling… please… Girl:- Don’t be sad baby, where you want my signature. ? Boy:- On Our ‘Marriage Certificate…’ ­­ ­ ♥



Wen U Cry:- Koi Nhi Dekta. Wen U Worried:- Koi Nhi Dekta. Wen U Hapy:- Koi Nhi Dekta. . . . . . Lekin 1 Din DATE Pe Chale Jao, Saala Pura Khandan Dhek Leta Hai…:p



Swarg ke dwar par 3 log the.. God:- “Sirf ek hi andar ja sakta hai. . Pehla:- “Main pujari hu, sari umar aapki seva ki hai, swarg par mera hi haq hai. . Dusra:-”Main ek desh bhakt neta hu, sari umar logo ki seva ki hai. Swarg par toh mera hi haq hai. . . . . Teesra:- “Maine ENGINEERINGki PADHAI KI HAI.” . God:- “kuch mat bol mere bhai, rulaeyga kya?? saari JAWANI tu narak me raha hai. Swarg par tera hi haq hai..” :O



Tab Vo Bedard Mere Dard Ko Samajh Payegi Is Aashiq Ki Chahat Ko Fir Pana VoChahegi Par Afsos Use Gale Se Main Laga Na Pauga Kyuki Jannat Se Vapas Main Laut Na Pauga… By –



Murga:- I love u. Murgi:- Ha ha…. Murga:- Mai tere liye kuch v kar sakta hu…. Murgi:- Really?? Murga:- Yes.. Kya karu batao. Murgi:- Bataun… . . .Bataun… . . . Chal anda de…!



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Clean Jokes for Whatsapp 151

girl—>jab saavan aata hai teri yad aati hai… . jab badal chate hai teri yad aati hai. . jab bunde girti hai.teri yad aati hai. . . . . . .boys—>kamini ­ taane mat de pata hai tera chaata dena hai.



Fact Of Life.. . . . . . . . . Only 1% Of The Girls Become Wife Of Their Lovers, The Remaining Become Passwords Of FACEBOOK And EMAIL ! .:P agree ??



CID returns CID ne Sony se naata jod liya … CID ne Sony se naata jod liya …… jis room me mana raha tha abhijeet suhagraat , Daya ne uska darwaja bhi tod diya !!!



Horror films mein Ladki ko Ghar mein Jab kuch ajeeb sunai deta hai tO wo kehti hai KON HAI WAHAN? . . . . . KON HAI WAHAN? Jaisay k Bhoot Bolega Haan Behen Mai kitchen mein Hu. Tumhari maa ne mast gulab jamun banaye hai,, wohi kha raha hu aaaaaoo khayenge saath



One personal question :- . . . . . . . . . . Aapke cellphone ka current balance kitna h ?? sab sach sach btana ) Post paid wale to chup hi rehna:P



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