Monday, 23 June 2014
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Thursday, 12 June 2014
Wednesday, 11 June 2014
Tuesday, 10 June 2014
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Sunday, 8 June 2014
Work Jokes for Whatsapp 122
Love in the Kitchen… Pressure Cooker ne Karahi se puchha… ki tum itne kaali kyun ho? Koi cream kyun nahi lagati? Karahi boli… Main jitne bhi kaali sahi, seetiyan to tum phir bhi maarte ho!
Sonia Gandhi : I am bored, message me few jokes. . . . . Manmohan Singh: Madam, I am in a cabinet meeting taking some imp decisions. . . Sonia : Ha..Ha..Ha.. Good One!! Send few more….
Santa’s Son was filling d application form. Son: papa, mother tongue kya likhu? Santa: Likh de, very long and uncontrollable….
English Sir- Golu you are late..! Golu- Sir meri car… Sir- Golu speak in English, Golu- My car was fussing in the kichad, No hilling, No dolling, Only po po karing…
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 121
Boy: “Ro kyu rahi ho..? Girl: “Mere marks bahot kam aaye hai.. Boy: “Bata kitne aaye hai..? Girl: “Sirf 88 % … . . . . . . Boy “Khuda ka khauf kar…..itne mein to 2 ladke pass ho jate hain….”
Santa: Yar Mai To Duvidha Me Fas Gya. Banta: Wo kaise? Santa: Yar Biwi k Makeup ka kharcha Bardasht Nhi Hota or Makeup Na kre To Biwi Brdasht Nhi Hoti…
Romantic Lines of “SMALL KID”… ♥ . . . Main Tume Bhulne ti Bahot Kochich Kalta hu Par tya taru mom roz BADAM Khila Deti he… Aul tumali Yaad Fil aa Jati he…
What comes after “Ishq Wala Love”? . . . . . “Kutton Wali Zindagi”!
Here in India… Actors are playing Cricket, Cricketers are playing Politics, Politicians are watching Porn, Porn stars are becoming Actors. Incredible India!
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 120
1 Aadmi Bus Driver se” Kitne Ghante Bus Me Rehte Ho.. ?? . . BUS Driver:”24 Ghante.. . . Aadmi Herat Se:”Wo Kese.. ?? . . BUS Driver:”12 Ghante Is BUS Me dusre 12 Ghante Biwi ke BUS Me…. lol
Mallika Sherawat ko Mixer chalate dekh, Naukar bola: Madam, aap juice bana rahi ho kya? . . . . . . . Mallika: Nahi re, 1-2 din ke hi kapde the, toh socha issi mein dho dalun!
Santa Ne puri Raat Mujra Dekha.. . . . Mujrewali: “Saheb, Humne Apko Khush Kiya ab Aap Hume Khush Kar Do…” . . . . . . Santa: “Achha To Ab Tum Betho, Mai Nachta Hu….”
S2, S3 and now S4. Forget Apple, Indian Railways sues Samsung for copying names of its sleeper coaches.
Once again our PAPPU wins English Quiz Contest by his Terrific Reply. Q: “What is the Opposite of ‘BARCELONA’? . . . . . . PAPPU: ‘ANDAR SE DO NA’!
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 119
Doctor to injured patient: Jab car ek lady chala rahi thi tu tumhe road se duur chalna chayi tha. . . . . . . . . . Patient: abay Kon sa road? Me to park me leta huaa tha….
Which form of music do mosquitoes hate? . . . . . . . . . . Answer: Kawali…. (Sabse Jyada taali wahi bajti hai, har taali par ek machhar ki maut)
Pagal hai wo log jo 14 feb ko propose karte hai…… . . . . . Meri maano to 1st April ko propose karo……… . . . . . . . . . Maan gayi to ‘I LOVE YOU’ gussa kiya to ‘APRIL FOOL’. . . !!
Dollar has increased to Rs. 55… . . . Milk has increased to Rs. 40… . . . Petrol has increased to Rs. 72… . . . Thank God! Passing Marks are still 35…
On KBC A Guy got stuck on 1cr ques He uses ‘FON-A-FRND’ 2 GF BigB: Ur time starts now Guy reads d que & optns GF: MIL GYA TIME FON KARNE KA? MUJE KOI BAT NAI KRNI…
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 118
College life is like Reliance !! ” Karlo Duniya Mutthi Mein” Bachelor Life is Like Airtel!! ” Aisi Azadi aur Kahan” After Engagement is Like Idea!! ” Jo Badal de aapki Zindgi” After Marrige is like Hutch!! ” Where U go.. network Follows” After Kid is like BSNL!! ” All lines are Buzy” So friends enjoy each moment!
LADY: Panditji meri shaadi ko 5 saal ho gaye, Par, Ek bhi baccha nahi hua! Pandit: mein Badrinath me tumhare naam ka Diya jala dunga. ~~~ 10 saal baad ~~~ .Pandit us Lady k ghar gaye to dekha k Ghar me 10 bacche the . . . Pandit : Mubarak ho!, baccho ke papa kaha hai.? LADY: Badrinath gaye hain, Diya bujhaane…
REALITY….. IDEAS, LIBERTY, TRUST AND FREEDOM are 4 important things for Nations Freedom But We live in country were….. IDEA is a Sim card LIBERTY is a Footwear TRUST is a Condom and FREEDOM is Sanitary Pad.
Height of MISUNDERSTANDING Someone placed a bomb near a Aged Lady. Everyone started yelling: “Budhiy a Bomb hai!!! Budhiya BomB hai!!!” . . . . . . She smiled & said : Hato re Paglo wo to Mai Jawani Me hua Karti thhi…
Define Live-In-Relationship . . . . . . bin phere hum tere
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 117
I think RBI should declare “Eclairs” as the new one Rupee and “Chloromint” as the new 50 Paisa.. . . . . . . . Sala koi b dukandaar chhutte k jage yahi deta hai…!
Teacher:- Give me an Example of Import and Export. . . . . . . Santa:- Sonia gandhi & Sania mirza..!
Best Ad: Forest dept: Shoot birds with camera not with gun. Latest: Fly with KINGFISHER Not on PLANE But with BEER…
Advice for all the Married Guys: Kabhi bahut dukhi ho to apni shaadi ka video ulta chala ke dekhna. Maza aa jayega. Aapki Biwi Aapki ungli se ring utaregi. Car se utregi aur Mayke laut jaayegi.
If Kasab wil die due to dengue . . . . . Then mosquito must b Announced as National Insect …
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 116
Joke of the day! Boy-Hey girl, what’s ur name? Girl: “Apne Baap ko dhakka maaro.” Boy: “Kya matlab?” . . . . . . . . Girl- Matlab hai “PUSH-PAA”
Rahul Gandhi to Sonia Gandhi Mummy first CW-G, then 2-G then Coal -G and now JIJA-G !!
Superb thought “A person who believes in working.. Will always have a job… But A person who thinks “kaun kare”..will always be a boss”
Platform Par Saaman Ke Dher Ke Sath Baitha Dekh Coolie Ne Puchha- Madam.. Coolie Chahiye? Mahila- Nahi Mere PATI Hain Mere Sath.!!
At 1 point, Vijay Mallya had Piles of Cash. Now, Cash has gone & only Piles remain. This condition is medically called . . . . . . . . . . . King Fissure…!!
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 115
Mera Bharat Mahan -What a lovely Combination! A Hindu President; A Muslim Vice President A Sikh Prime Minister A Christian Defence Minister And an Italian REMOTE!
Banta applying for a Job Interviewer :- what is difference between landline and cellphone ?? . . . Killing answer by Banta :- . . . . . Banta :- landline me number ungliyon se dail krna padta hy aur cellphone pe anguthe se….
Extra Kameena Bacha! Son: Papa apki love marrige hai na? Dad: Haan per tumhen kese pta? Son: Apki shadi or meri date of birth me sirf 5 month ka fark hai
Who is an Ideal Husband? The man who looks like Tom Cruise, Earns like Lakshmi Mittal, and Obeys commands like Manmohan Singh!
Golden Words By Martin Luther King.. If u cant Fly, Run If u cant Run, Walk If u cant Walk, Crawl But Keep Moving. Santa: Woh to theek hai, par jaana kaha hai ?
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 114
It’s so strange that the Indian term for being in a committed relationship and being in the hospital is the same – “Voh Serious Hai”
Biwi :- Janu Batao Tum Mujh se kitna Pyar Karte Ho ? Banta :- Bahut Jyada Biwi :- Phir Bhi K!tna ?? . . . . Banta :- !tna Ke Dil Chah Rha Hai Ki Tumhari Jesi 1 Aur le Aaun!
OLD Generation vs New Generation OLD GEN: Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab NEW GENERATION: “Kal ka kaam aaj MAT karo, usko kal tak rakho.. kya pata us kaam ko karne ki jarurat hi na pade..”
Santa: Dettol sabun hai? Dukandaar: Hai, Santa: Accha wala? Dukndar: Ha Santa: Acchi quality ka hai na? Dukndr: Ha Bhai Ha. Santa: Hath dhokar 1 Kilo aatta dedo.
Santa ne ek question puchha aur Teacher behosh ho gaya. Question was: BLACK is a colour White is also a colour But BLACK & WHITE TV is not COLOUR TV. Why?
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 113
Female’s Criteria for the Life Partner: They expect their men to look like Mr. Universe, earn like Bill Gates and obey like…. . . . . . Manmohan Singh!
Doctor: Tumhare 3 daant kaise toot gaye? Aadmi: Ji, woh biwi ne kadak roti banayi thi. Doctor: Toh khaane se inkaar kar dete! Aadmi: Ji wahi toh kiya tha!
Santa in KBC… Q: Videsh jane wali pehli, Bhartiya mahila kaun thi? . . . . . . . Santa: Sita ji… (Ravan ke saath Srilanka)
Teacher: It’s clear that you haven’t studied your geography lessons. What’s your excuse? Pappu: Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!
Foreigner : India Mein Sabse Zayda Baraf Kahan girti Hai? . . . . . . Santa : Whiskey Ke Glass Mein !
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 112
Aapne suna hoga “Maa-Baap ke karmon ka phal bachhon ko bhugatna padta hai… ” lekin kabhi-kabhi Maa-Baap ke karmon ka phal, unke DAMAADON ko bhi bhugatana padta hai!
Apne INDIA ka kuchh nahi ho sakta… kyunki yehan Buddhe Desh chala rahe hain… . . . . aur Jawaan Facebook!
Girl: Hi Jaanu Boy: Hi Baby Girl: Socha tum miss kar rahe hoge to call kar lu. Boy (shocked): Abhi 5 min pehle jo 1 ghante tak baat ki woh kya tha? Girl: OMG! Fir se tumhey hi lag gaya kya!
Indian term for being in a committed relationship and being in the hospital is same. . . . . . . . . “Voh serious hai”
Kingfisher is practically over. Mallya is down to his underpants – like many of his calendar models.
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 111
Finally, its gonna be a dream come true. All gals’ dream man will come on a white horse! All thanks to the petrol price hike!
The Indian government truly cares for the health of its citizens. The petrol price hike ensures that more Indians will now start walking to their destinations!
Santa: I have two bad news for U, How should I tell you? Banta: Combine them. Santa: Your wife is cheating on both of us.
Pleasure & Pain comes at the Same Price… Rs 77 for a Kingfisher Bottle or One Litre of Petrol. Decision is Yours- JHOOM LO ya GHOOM LO!
New Form of Greetings “May Your Happiness Increase Like The Petrol Prices, May Your Sorrow Fall Like The Indian Rupee & May The Joy Fill Your Heart Like The Corruption In India!”
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 110
Kisi ladki ki yaad aaye- YAAD karo! . Jyada aaye- SMS karo! . Aur jyada aaye- PHONE karo! . Aur bhi jyada aaye- MIL lo! . Bahut jyada- PYAAR karo! . Usse bhi jyada- SHAADI kar lo! . Maa Kasam, uske baad phir woh kabhi yaad nahi aayegi!
People say that marriage brings spice, tears, happiness, flavour and taste to life. Personally, I believe paani-puri does a better job at cheaper cost.
Interesting just think about it Actors are playing cricket,Cricketers are entering politics,Politicians are watching porn and Pornstars are becoming actors!
Full kaminapan 1st friend: Can I use your phone to call my girlfriend ? . . . . 2nd friend: ya sure, just redial….
Aamir Khan is going to make film on Air India and Kingfisher pilots. It will be titled ‘Saare Zameen Par!’
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 109
Teachers r Hot Water Parents r Mineral Water Enemies r Salt Water Lover is Ice Water Bt, Friends r BEER BOTTLE… Khusi ho ya gam, de sath har dum..
Santa ke Ghar Chor aaya. Santa ne dekha to chor Bhaaga. Santa bhagte bhagte chor se bhi Aage nikal gaya. Santa: Saala Ek to Chori…… Upar se Race… Ye to mai hi jeetunga…..
Indian Traffic rules… Green – Go Slow . . . Orange – Go little fast . . . Red – Go Very Fast.
Height of hopelessness A boy is listening extremely sad song, . . . . . . . & thinking kaun si wali ko yaad karoon yaar…!!
Santa is Greater than Newton Newton:When we Throw A Ball in the Air, Why Does It Come Down? . . . . . Santa- There Is Nobody In the Air to Catch it…
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 108
Google or Yahoo! Santa: Which is better, Google or Yahoo? Banta: Oh wait, I’ll search it on Google.
After Eating Fish Santa Does not Drink Water Why? . . . . . Coz He Feared That Fish Will Start Swimming In His Stomach!
Santa Mirror and Padayi Santa : Tu Mirror Ke Saamne Baith kar Padhta kyun Hai…??? Banta : Is K 3 Faide Hai… . . . 1. Sath Mein Revison Ho Jata Hai… 2. Khud Pe Nazar Rehti Hai… 3. Padhne Ke Liye Company Mil Jati Hai…
Height of happiness A boy got a job in a girls hostel . . . . . After 2 months Owner asked: Why didn’t U come to take ur salary ? Boy: Kya!!……….. Salary bhi milegi ??
”Don’t judge me by the cancellation of my flights. You see, my calendars are always on time.” – Vijay Mallaya
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Saturday, 7 June 2014
Work Jokes for Whatsapp 107
Dear God, Your love for Films (Shammi Kapoor & Dev Anand), Music (Jagjit Singh & Bhupen Hazarika) & Technology (Steve Jobs) is now beyond all doubts. May we suggest that you take keen interest in Politics too?
1 gaon me Rahul Gandhi ko 1 bache ne kaha Sirji 14 mahino se yaha school me teacher nahi he. Rahul- To school kaise chal raha hai? Bacha- Jaise desh chal raha hai!
Only 3 living beings are immune to cold: 1. Polar bears. 2. Penguins. 3. Females wearing sleeveless & backless in winter parties. Baaki sabko thund lagti hai
Thought for the day! In India, Govt. decides the age of the Army Chief. In Pakistan, It’s the Army Chief that decides the age of the Govt.
Banta: What is the difference between Liability & Asset? Santa: A drunk guy is a Liability and a drunk girl is an Asset!
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 106
Kya aap marne ke baad bhi hot ladkiya dekhna chahte hai? THEN DONATE UR EYES kamino ko Social Message bhi interesting banakar Bhejna Padta hai…
Height of FB update mania . . . . . . . . “Suhaag raat hai, ghunghat utha raha hun main…”
If u wann 2 love a girl or a boy, try frm another state! . . . . . . . Even it fails,u wil end up wit 1 more language in ur Resume
Bhagwan Har Ek Ke Ghar Jake Usse Prem Nahi De Sakta, Isliye Usne MAA Banayi. . . . Ussi Tarah Har Ek Ke Ghar Jake Bhagwan Sazaa Nahi De Sakta, Isliye PATNI Banayi…
Sabse jyada nasha kisme hota hai? Sharaab mein? No! Pyaar mein? No! Paise mein? No! . . Sabse jyada nasha… . . . KITAAB me hota hai. Kholte hi neend aa jati hai!
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Work Jokes for Whatsapp 105
Mayawati Laloo ke ghar elephant ke sath aayi. Laloo – Bhaiswaa ke sath aaye ho ?? Mayawati – Dikhta nahi elephantwa hai. Laloo – Dhatt pagli, hum elephantwa se puch raha hoon!
Deepika went to Yuvraj – his form dropped! Then went to Ranbir – his movies flopped… Then went to Mallyas – & their Airlines stopped…
Husband to Wife: Tu meri zindagi ho, Aur??? Wife aur kya……..aur……aur…..tell me kya? Wife shouted and said aur kya?? Husband reply: aur laanat hai aisi zindagi par
The Difference. . Two girls wearing same top.. That BITCH COPIED My STYLE… & & Two boys wearing same T-shirt.. AREEE… MERA BHAI !! The gender difference !
Life’s like this! At 39 Rahul Dravid is called ‘old’ and see what wonders he performs. At 40 Rahul Gandhi is called ‘young’ and see what blunders he performs.
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